Redefining optimism

Most people think optimism is all about blind faith; believing that good things will happen to them even when they laze their days away and continue to indulge their evil streaks. Far from it. True optimism is a discipline that costs much. It is a choice. When you choose to see the best in others, and believe that life will get better, and strive to give the best with the hope of inspiring others to do the same, you are a true optimist.

Nelson Mandela was a bona fide optimist

A search through the archives divulges three authentic optimists: Martin Luther Jr., Mother Teresa and Nelson Mandela. But for today I will focus on Madiba to help you grasp the doctrine of optimism in its centrality. The mental image I have of him is a towering giant who made you feel at peace by just looking at him. There was something in his bearing that inspired security and a sense of belonging even in the most threatened child.

Madiba said a nation should not be judged by how it treats its highest citizens but its lowest ones. Here the rich and powerful are flown to the best hospitals abroad while most health centres back home are crumbling with neither facilities nor doctors to help the poor. Corruption has eaten its way to the bone marrow of every public institution while the president continues to reappoint the implicated. What optimism do such people inspire?

Mandela's zest for life and buoyant spirit was infectious beyond measure. He believed poverty as was apartheid could be routed by the actions of men. His actions and words lit a fire of courage, hope and strength to those in despairing times, reminding us of what we are capable of if we refuse to let fear hold us down.

Even 27 years of jail-time could not destroy him but made him stronger. Prison was a tool to embitter him but it made him better. "As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom," he said in 1990, "I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I would still be in prison."

I was fascinated by his view that no one is born hating another; that we should focus on teaching to love because love comes more naturally to the human heart than hate. Talk of a true reconciler, forgiver and pacifier. Madiba embodied the true optimist who defies the odds. His life reminds me of Tupac Shakur's poem, "the rose that grew from concrete."

In memory of Estella

I am looking at the picture of you taken 10 years ago. It is the picture of tears welling in your eyes. Even your hair is a little ruffled with tension, and your lips cling to each other in the emotion of the impending parting. It pains to see the sadness in your beautiful eyes. So I reach out with a kiss to shush the avalanche of sentiments vibrating through you…then I realize it is only a picture.

It is hard to believe a decade has passed since you were taken. You were a rose in full bloom when you were snatched by that monster virus, leaving me torn and alone; clutching at nothing but the straw of old memories.

I still see us walking to school, our arms around each other's shoulders. The whole world knew you were my sister even though we were no blood relatives. You used to say, "Let them stay duped" and then you would laugh gingerly and say we are stuck together not just for life but for eternity as well!

That is why it was so stunning to us when the first separation was announced. That is why there were tear stains when you were flown to the United States. It was necessary that you go get better treatment. At the time we didn’t know what ailed you. It had been kept a secret by those who knew better. What did you do to be born with HIV/Aids?

Then there was merciless symbol which marked the most difficult separation of all – the coffin in which you were brought back. Even up to now, I feel like you were not real; never existed at all; I feel like you were just a figment of my wild imagination. But then I have pictures of us.

At the time fate struck, I was still a boy grappling to find myself. Now I am a man with a gift for analysis, and my perspective is that you are in heaven. So rather than grieve for you on World Aids Day last Sunday, I thanked God for the good times we shared growing up together.

Even though it has been years since you ceased living, I am still believing that some day we shall be reunited in heaven where there will be no more parting. You were right after all –we are stuck together not just for life but for eternity as well!

Show me the true geniuses

Genius. The first word I fell for. I love its feel on my tongue and its sound in my ear. But I have come to realise that there is no genius in this world especially if the word is used without adulterating its meaning.

Several rockets have been launched into space and men have walked on the moon, true. I doff my hat for the brains behind the awesome scientific and technological inventions. Yet even these don't qualify the word genius.

No matter our strokes of brilliance, let's remain humble

If the world had a genius (s)he would have created a pill that one can swallow and live forever! The Aids virus would have long been exterminated, and a special diet would have been produced to insulate the rich and mighty against cancers and other terrible maladies.

Oh how confounded I was by Michael Jackson's passing! I could not believe the whole "king of pop", with all his money, one who defied the forces of gravity and hypnotized the world with his "moon-walk" dance could not be brought back to life by a convergence of the world’s best medical brains!

I will also never forget the day I sat in a taxi next to a sleepyhead. He kept falling on me and when I angrily shook him up he opened his eyes once before sleeping off again. How helpless we are that we don’t even have the genius to keep our eyes open.

Let us admit our puny efforts and use genius in reference to the only Being that truly is -- God the creator. He is the genius potter and we are mere clay that return to dust when He withdraws the breath that sustains us.
Just like the 'unsinkable' Titanic hit the iceberg and sank, we are doomed when we get puffed-up in the delusion that we are geniuses. It takes one bite from a tiny anopheles mosquito

So let us stay humble no matter our strokes of brilliance.

The word uproot stands out in the success formulae

Rummage through the archives about those who truly made it. Look at the people you greatly admire. They have given their best to be where they are. They got their hoes and uprooted the things that impinge progress.

You must unlearn the things that impinge success

To uproot means to unlearn everything that wears us out like a pebble in an athlete’s track shoe that makes him lose the race if not removed. Some people say you cannot get a job in Uganda today unless you are a Munyankore or have "connections in high places." You have to pity people with such mentalities!

The axe must as well be wielded against pessimism. Ward off negative people and surround yourself with those who believe in you and see the glass as half full rather than half empty. In a recent newpaper article, Richard Branson wrote, "Track down people you would love to work with and start sharing your ideas. You will soon discover that you found some great partners and more importantly some great friends."

Usually people who put others down are loafers who have been at the same level for ages. They are personified by the sluggard who King Solomon said is so ridiculously lazy that even when he digs his hand into a bowl of food, it wears him out to bring it back to his mouth!

Nothing takes the place of discipline and hard work. As Ishta Nandi once tweeted, "Good things come to those who hustle." Fruitful hustling comes with prioritizing and shrewd time management. Even if you come from a wealthy family, there is special fulfilment in personal attainments. As an African proverb articulates, "No matter how tall your father is, you must do your own growing."

My all-time favourite sports personality, Muhammad Ali confessed he hated waking up early and the arduous training routine. But he told himself: suffer now and live like a champion the rest of your life. Today, retired and tormented by Parkinson disease, he remains the greatest heavy weight boxing champion of the world.

Know what you are capable of and let it shine today. That "false evidence appearing real" a.k.a. fear, should never stand in your way. Be tenacious as you uproot that irritating weed in the path of achievement just like a tree is pruned to help it grow taller and stronger.

Optimist's medal for most tolerant personality

A woman picked a street boy and brought him into her home. She raised him like her own; took him to good schools and gave him all the good things that money could buy. The more the boy grew, the more she loved him no matter his imperfections and idiosyncrasies.

A woman with former street children. All we need is love with patience

But the boy did not appreciate the unfettered kindness of his guardian. He got into trouble with school authorities and gained notoriety as an unrepentant provocateur who fought everybody everywhere. The poor woman was advised to send him back to the streets. She wanted to yet something deep inside convinced her otherwise. Every time the boy got expelled from a school, she would get him an even better school.

When the boy entered pubescent stage, his hormones and demons raged like never before. One evening during the holiday, his guardian returned from work early and caught him seducing his daughter for sex. It was the greatest provocation to banish him back to the streets. Instead, she locked herself in her room and cried a river. Then she prayed. When she got up from her knees, she decided to give the boy another chance.

The two talked like mother to son. She poured out her heart; told him he was now family; a 'big brother' to her three daughters, and having carnal knowledge
of them was the worst ignominy. Told him, she saw in him something that the world did not.

"I've a lot of faith in you to grow into a leader who will return to the streets to spark something in those boys to become responsible citizens," she said. "And I know you will not disappoint me."

For the first time, the ex-street boy shed his hard skin and broke down like a little girl. After wiping his tears, he told his guardian two words: "Thank you."

That was the beginning of his metamorphosis from Saul to Paul. He stopped fighting, was never expelled from school again and started excelling in class. Today, he is at Makerere University pursuing a law degree only because one woman understood and tolerated him with amazing love and patience.

Saturday (November 16) was International Tolerance Day, and the heroine of this story wins the Optimist's medal for most tolerant personality. We all have foibles, and if we learn to love with patience those who need love, it will make all the difference.

Why women ought to love the beautiful game

There is something about playing soccer. It subtly and openly teaches us about how life ought to be lived and appreciated. So, it perplexes that some women bluntly dismiss the beautiful game as a useless activity in which 22 grown-ups’ chase a round piece of rubber around the pitch.

I play ball too

At home she insists on a Mexican soap opera and, when you go out to watch with the boys, she throws a tantrum, saying flatly she did not know she had a co-wife named soccer.

Sweetheart, collect yourself and get a little knowledgeable about the game. Many benefits accrue being on the same team as your man's. When you win you celebrate together- passionately. When you lose, you console one another - passionately. Either way, you bond like never before and sparks fly every soccer weekend.

My friend Kenneth is one of the lucky ones. His wife is passionate about soccer and supports Arsenal, his team. Last weekend before they played with Liverpool she asked him, "Do you think we shall win considering the form of Suarez and Sturridge?" Kenneth felt good that she could turn to him. He knew it was going to be a tough match but he spoke as a man who knows his stuff.

"Honey, this is our season," he said. "We have the best midfield at the moment, and our team is solid in all aspects. Nothing will stop us tonight." When Arsenal won 2-0, she hugged and kissed him and said in the loveliest voice, "You are so right; this is our season!" And you can bet Kenneth had a great night, ha-ha!

Anyhow, that spontaneity that women love, ball control, the marvelous dribbles, spectacular saves, the unity of the team, the telepathic communication that makes a player pass a ball perfectly without looking up, the strategy and verve that wins and the gleeful celebrations -- if all applied in real life, they can make living a magnificent thing.

It is always beautiful to see some players on the losing side exchanging jerseys with the winning players after the match. It shows what a beauty it can be when the contests of life do not turn us into enemies. Moreover, losing is not the end. When you reorganise, train hard and stick together, you bounce back and do amazing things.

Home to the most amazing sights

Today is November 3, the day of the Hybrid Eclipse [rousing applause]! I am hypnotized; giddy with excitement and anticipation like a virgin about to consummate with the woman of his life on their matrimonial night.

Who am I to belong to a country that the world's best scientists have designated the best spot to view the moon strut before the sun? When this happens at 4:15pm today, the sun will be so mesmerized that it will forget its job and usher us in darkness so intense that for one minute and 40 seconds you will feel like your eyes are shut even when they are wide open! The last time something like this happened was a whopping 547 years ago, and it will not happen again until June 3, 2114.

Really, this is the kind of history I cannot afford not being part of. Here I am in Packwach, right on the pass of the eclipse, and will for the whole day be peering at the heavens through a pin-hole camera. I am sure some people behind the Guinness Book of Records have flown in to watch the astronomical occurrence. They also won't help gazing at our physical endowments and confirming that this country is the most beautiful. This is what Winston Churchill meant when he called us the "pearl of Africa" but fell short of calling us the pearl of the world for fear of being accused by his countrymen of extolling a foreign nation more than his.

You have to pity Ugandans who go roaming the world in search of riches instead of developing the riches of their motherland. There is nowhere else where the grass is greener than here unless you have eyes but do not see. Hey, we are the Source of the Nile, the home of the mountain gorillas, perfect weather, loam soil, oil and now the eclipse!

That "American Dream" you hanker after is depicted in The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald as a sham. All that intellectualism and dominance, the glitter of Hollywood, the revelry and the philosophy of doing as you like, have left many with scarred consciences and inner emptiness of alarming proportions.

We have to be wary of Western influences, develop our country our way and protect who we really are. "Uganda - gifted by nature" is not just another colourful slogan. The world will best observe the Hybrid Eclipse in this very country. It shows how beloved and favoured we are by God!

Who wants to be Ugandan this weekend? I'm one proud patriot and will always sing the national anthem to that effect!