The Macron learning curve

Emmanuel Macron is the new kid on the block. At only 39 years, he has excited the world by winning the French presidency. A BBC profile of him reveals he's a smart and ambitious kid who has always gone for gold. To the young people, he's the knew John F. Kennedy, the new Barack Obama, the new Yoweri Museveni and the new Tony Blair who all arrived on the scene so young and so capable that they inspired optimism beyond measure.

 Kennedy had his life snuffed out by an assassin before his potential was maximised, Obama realised coming too early meant leaving too early but is doing admirably well living quietly outside the presidency, Blair quit over Brexit but the cold out there has tempted him into trying to bounce back, while Museveni has overstayed his welcome and blown out the spark of inspiration he lit in many hearts when he stood outside the precincts of parliament in 1986 and diagnosed the problem of Africa as leaders who overstay in power, declaring that he was not a custodian of a mere change of guards but of a fundamental change. 

What we learn from all this is that what matters is not the quickness with which we achieve and the enormity of what we achieve but the foresight of quitting at the right time and the humility to live simply. 

We also learn that the ascendency to the peak at a young age does not mean we are smarter and better than others but simply means we were just destined to achieve early. Jesus was destined to launch his three-year ministry at 30 while Donald Trump was fated to become the president of the most powerful nation at 70. 

So whatever we achieve, let's avoid the arrivalism syndrome that often infects Ugandans; filling them with pride and stopping them from trying harder after attaining the "1234" which stands for one wife, two children, a three-bedroom house and a four-wheel-drive. One thing for sure, there's no better achievement than loving more and staying humble.

Head, heart, legs

"Testa, Cuore e Gambe" is the title of Antonio Conte's book that means head, heart and legs. Apparently that's the secret behind the Chelsea manager's success. It was also his mantra at Juventus where he won three consecutive Serie A titles between 2012-2014. Basically the Italian believes in players that play with intelligence (head), zeal (heart) and motion (legs).

Based on that simple formulae he has assembled a team that has been quite a revelation in this season's English Premier League. No wonder that at the writing of this, Chelsea is sitting proudly at the top of the table with 81 points while my beloved Arsenal that has for over 20 years finished in the top four, is in sixth position, a whopping 21 points behind Chelsea with only four games remaining. 

It's been an exciting cruise for Conte's team. While pundits have watched every match with bated breath; waiting for slip ups that would see Chelsea's main rival Tottenham catch up, the blues have continued to grow stronger because they play as a unit; each one of them giving 100 percent. Those who thought talent and pedigree alone was enough such as Oscar were sold to China and Conte gave the chance to 'underdogs' like Victor Moses who grasped his mantra and played to its tune.  

With just 245 days remaining to the end of the year, I couldn't help thinking that maybe Conte's formulae is all we need to fulfill our resolutions and succeed wholesomely. For most people using their heads is not a problem. They come up with fantastic plans and even intelligent ways of executing them but their hearts are tested when they meet challenges. That's when those without the zeal, hunger and fire of champions are exposed. They blow cold at the first sign of resistance forgetting that there's no warrior, no winner without the attributes of persistence and perseverance. 

So while Conte's team live up to his head, heart and legs style, let's also apply it in the game of life for indeed it's in exerting ourselves intelligently, zealously and forwardly in all our endeavours that we shall achieve exponentially.

Love is love

Early this week there was a hot WhatsApp discussion about Emmanuel Macron and his wife Brigette. Mr Macron who is seeking to become the new president of France is 25 years younger than his wife. He is aged 39 and she is 64. A picture of them was shared; him looking so young and handsome, and her old and wrinkled that most people wondered what bewitched him to fall for such a "centurion" as one of my friends described his wife.

But such is love. It is peculiar. It is a mystery of all mysteries. We don't choose who we fall in love with and if old Brigette is the woman that makes Macron's heart beat; if she is the woman that gets his engine up and revving so be it. I think the story was the same with Camilla Parker and Prince Charles. The British and everyone with keen interest in matters of love were utterly confounded that he could leave a stunner like Princess Diana for the arms of an old 'frog' like Camilla Parker. 

But you have to admire men like Macron who refuse to be boxed in by societal dictates. In Uganda it is a scandal for a degree-holder to marry a P.7 dropout. Personally I don't find anything wrong with that as long as the two are genuinely in love and believe they have a deeper connection that will last them a lifetime. It is better than being 'politically correct' but privately miserable. It is a fallacy that you can only flow with your agemates. That's conformity and conforming to world standards is often a deformity; it has always been the nonconformists that make things happen that make sense in the end. 

As a man I like to get hitched to woman with maturity of character. I like to return home at night and find a motherly woman who will welcome me with a hug and a nice meal. Then she will sit back and warmly watch me eat and listen keenly as I tell her about my day. Tell me if these girls that get easily agitated over makeup are capable of that?

Words of life

Most girls justify their rejection of 'poor' boys by saying: "No one eats words!" So they throw themselves at rich men who give them expensive material things but mistreat them, cheat on them and never appreciate their worth like a guy of easy means would. What these girls don't know is that sincere words of love and appreciation give far more joy and strength than an expensive meal with an expansive guy who doesn't genuinely love you. 

Even outside the context of love, a timely word of wisdom to a needy soul satisfies more than the best dish. As the wise king Solomon, said, "The lips of the righteous feed many" and as Isaiah 50:4 says, "The Lord God has given me the tongue of a disciple and of one who is learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to those who are weary." 

Words are so powerful that God ignored clay and spoke the world into existence instead! Personally I've received emails and social media inboxes from some of you readers appreciating the encouragements you receive from this column. Martin Luther Jr used words to rally the masses in the fight against racism and so were writers like Richard Wright. Pastors and motivational speakers use words to uplift sorrowing souls. Even in football the manager who knows how to inspire his players to bring out the best in them often wins far more than the best technical coach. 

Blessed is the person who has discovered how yummy divine words are; devouring them day and night. They will flow out of that person like a fountain from which the thirsty will have their fill of refreshment. One such person is my friend Robert Bake of World of Inspiration who is making a lot of money by feeding the masses on food for the soul --words that build and empower! As he once told me, "I am someone who devours words the way I would a buffet. In fact, if someone wants you to get stunted they will give you food. If they want you to prosper they will feed you with words of transformation. Words are the rods with which the wise catch fish."

The resurrection

A friend of mine said, "To leave a mark on this world you must not only refuse to conform to the status quo but you must also upset it." My mind raced to Jesus Christ who refused to bow down to the dictates of his times and literally turned the world upside down! 

As a young boy He sneaked away from his parents to attend to matters of more importance in church where He debated with elders and left them in awe of His knowledge and reasoning. As a minister He beat people up for turning a church into a marketplace. Those capitalists thought it was okay to conduct business anywhere but Jesus whipped them and overturned their merchandise for turning His Father's house into a den of thieves. 

Much, much later the Pharasees thought they had finished Jesus off by nailing Him on the cross but He bounced back with swag when He rose three days later after singlehandedly rolling away the gigantic stone they had covered the mouth of His grave with. "Why are you looking for the living among the dead," the angel of the Lord rhetorically asked those who were still believing death had finished Jesus. 

For me that's the most beautiful, the most significant line ever written: why are you looking for the living among the dead? It's a line that perfectly captures the resurrection life that ought to be the portion of every person. Life can sometimes pummel us; we are cast down, our families may abandon us in the hour of need and our best friends may deny and betray us as Peter and Judas Iscariot denied and betrayed Jesus. But listen; that's not the end. Being cast down is not tantamount to being destroyed, it is not being out! Jesus triumphed so that we could triumph too. As He told His disciples, in this world we shall suffer many tribulations, but when we hold on to courage; when we don't give up, when we keep pushing we shall not only overcome but we will as well leave a mark that will never be wiped away.

Boss's belly

The rich man of the village had an anthill of a belly. It jutted out with such unbelievable prominence that the pair of legs on which it patched would have caved in had he no extra 'leg' -- a mahogany walking stick without which he was helpless. 

His mansion nestled on top of a hill surrounded by stretches of fenced valleys on which pastured hundreds of his herds of exotic cattle and sheep. It was the only house with glass windows and a corrugated iron roof that could be seen gleaming from any spot in the village day and night.

 I was the boy that fed his dogs everyday after school and so I had the opportunity to watch him up close especially at 5pm when the incessant mooing of cows signalled milking time. Boss would recline heavily into the balcony sofa, a pipe in his mouth, and watch with eagle-alert eyes as the milkmen staggered in with buckets of milk.

After his Tata lorry left heaving with gigantic cans of milk, Boss would devour his dinner. I used to watch him hog himself on skewers of chicken and pastry pork washed down with mug after mug of beer which did little to satisfy my curiosity. I just wanted to know what was in Boss's belly. 

One of the milkmen said the secret of Boss's belly was "money and power", another said it was "a nicotine, chicken and beer belly" that Boss had, but I refused to believe that all that protrusion was caused by the chicken and beer.

One day my best friend Junior came running and said the old cleaner at her mother's clinic had told him Boss's belly was bursting with maggots that had nipped themselves fat on his excessive flab and multiplied to billions causing that grotesque bulge. I laughed incredulously saying Boss was no walking pit-latrine that maggots should indwell him. But Junior looked at me with sadness and added, "The old cleaner also said Boss doesn't have much time to live. The maggots in his belly will kill him soon."

Why we pick that 'uneducated' woman

They say if you marry an uneducated girl, what will you talk about with her? But most educated girls I've related with don't like to talk about things, rather they like to argue about things. Even a simple request like, "Honey, can you fix me a cup of tea" can spark a storm.

"If you want some tea, get off your lazy ass and fix it," they say without lifting their eyes off that telenovera or whatever  keeps today's 'liberated' lady glued to the small screen. Besides tv the other thing they care about most is visiting the beauty parlour, where they spend a lot of money enhancing their artificial beauty as if their creator did a poor job! 

But that girl you say is not my "class" on account of her not having gone beyond S.4 delights in serving me. Her  eyes shine like the moon when she kneels to serve me a cup of tea, and her face radiates at every sip I take.

Thrice or more a week you suggest that we eat out because you're too tired to cook or could it be that you don't want to spoil your nails by peeling matooke? Meanwhile that lady you call ignorant finds joy in fixing my favourite dish because she cares for her man more than she cares for her nails.

When I surprised her with a new dress she shed a tear of joy. But when I surprised you with a pair of shoes you complained that I should have consulted you first, you said you would have preferred a new phone instead. Your arrogance and insensitivity make me shudder.

Being with you is tumultuous like the waves pounding the sand. But that 'ignorant' girl listens to me and treats me like a king. She delights in loving and taking care of me as men ought to be loved and taken care of, why shouldn't I  reciprocate? Who wants to be stuck with an educated albeit quarrelsome lady when the one without books is tangibly calming like watching the serene waters of a river on a beautiful evening?