The beautiful and the awkward at weddings

The love that leads a man and a woman into marriage for the rest of their lives;  propelled by the conviction that life would not be as sweet without each other, is an awesome love. That's why my best moment at the wedding is when the vows are being exchanged; when the bride and the groom swear to love and to cherish each other for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, until they are parted by death. 

You can feel the love vibrations between these guys. Real love is awesome.

It really is a golden moment; how the church shushes while the resonant voice of the presiding priest echoes in every corner, reciting the memorable words to which the lovebirds take turns to respond with the characteristic: "I do" or "I will." I particularly love the old English vows: 

"Dennis, wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holiest state of matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honour and keep her in sickness and in health, and forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her so long as ye both shall live?" 

"Carol, wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordnance in the holiest state of matrimony? Wilt thou obey him and serve him, love, honour and keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him so long as ye both shall live?"

It's marvelous how the voices of the groom and the bride quaver with quintessential love as they respond, "I do" or "I will" all the while not tearing eyes from each other. It's a wow moment the love you see bubbling in their eyes – the most pristine romantic love you will ever see in any pair of eyes. You don't have to be a believer to accept that the awesome beauty of that moment has its roots in the fact that marriage is truly ordained by God. 

That is why I was shocked and completely taken aback at the last wedding I attended when the groom could not look the bride in the eye as the vows were being exchanged. He cast his eyes down or looked at some distant something yet the girl was looking at him like she wanted to dissolve in his eyes. Even when he said "I do", it was a disinteresting mumble, lacking the genuine passion that typify those two magic words.

So many questions raced into my mind: was this guy forced into marrying this girl? Was it an arranged marriage? Did the girl blackmail him into sliding a ring down her finger? Was he already regretting and couldn't wait for this to end so he could return to his life? 

A groom who cannot look his bride in the eye, or a bride who cannot look her groom in the eye as the vows are exchanged is reminiscent of the couple who insist on switching off the lights every time they want to make love. It could be that one has the worst case of self-esteem or is too shy to maintain eye contact but how are you going to romantically love your spouse if you cannot hold hands and maintain eye contact? 

I cannot also forget the awkward kiss – how it mars the beauty of weddings! To be honest, it's not in our conservative psyche as Africans to kiss especially in public. Kissing remains a Western thing and we are doing it like one groping in the dark. So when the benevolent priest told the groom to kiss the bride after the vows and rings had been exchanged, the guy plunged in recklessly; enveloping the poor bride with his huge mouth, and proceeding to lick her up and down like a cow licking a pillar of salt. Some people snickered, and most senior citizens, including the parents, looked down, embarrassed and confused. 

I think if you cannot kiss right in public, it's only sensible that you reserve the awkward kissing for the bedroom and save your guests the embarrassment.