Be real

A man lived with his wife for three years after which he sent her to the U.S. on a shopping spree. She didn't return. The man followed her there only to find her in another home living with another man. She received him and introduced him to her new husband as her houseboy back in Uganda. 

Be the real you and you'll be fine

The man returned crying and went straight to see a marriage counsellor: "Can you imagine my wife called me her houseboy?"

"That's what you were all those years you lived with her; you refused to assert yourself as a man," the counsellor told him. "She found a real man."

It really is true that when you refuse to be a man, people will turn you into a door man. I've discovered that being firm and unpretentious pays dividends. When you are real you might come off as arrogant and it might push some people away but those who stay will love you for it.

My best friend is one of the realest human beings I know. When we were at Campus there was a looker in class that many guys would fall over themselves to please. She would  simply say, "I need airtime" and a guy would pull out 20k and give her. One day at 1pm, she fixed my friend a seductive smile and said, "Ken, you've never bought me lunch."

Ken turned to me and said, "Look at this fake chick begging for free lunches.”

I'll never forget the shock that came to her eyes. No guy had certainly ever told her off like that. I thought she would never speak to us again. To my amazement, she brazenly started chasing Ken while rejecting all the guys who would do anything to please her.