It's all about guts

I often wondered why the lion is the king of the jungle when it's  obviously not the strongest and wisest animal in the wild. Then I heard Dr. Bill Winston say in one of his sermons that the lion is the king of the jungle because it has more guts; it thinks it's the strongest animal and prances about with that attitude and conviction, injecting earth-shattering fierceness into its roars to keep others aware of who the boss is.

God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and a sound mind

It makes sense. What makes even more sense is what we could achieve if we invoked our God-given guts; that inherent courage and drive that Bernard Shaw meant when he said that it's in the hour of need that a man finds his true profession. 

Consider how many men are living loveless and colourless lives because they cannot muster the guts to step up and tell the girl they love how they feel about them. Think about the number of intelligent men and women who are stuck in boring, poorly-paying jobs because they are afraid to step out and implement that idea they have been talking about for ages. 

Constantine 'Cus' D'Amato, that's the man who discovered and mentored Mike Tyson, once told his young progeny that a coward and a hero are the same inside; they both are scared of dying and getting hurt. But "It's what the hero does that makes him a hero and what the other guy doesn't do that makes him a coward." Plainly, he meant that a hero acts but a coward wishes on and never makes the definitive move that could change and transform his life. 

If you have a dream that has been reverberating in your heart, it's time to let it out; time to act. We all come out of our mothers' wombs naked and screaming, so let no body tell you you cannot make it. You're not a cockroach; there's a lion in each one of us, and when you let out that roar from the core of the heart there is nothing that can stop you from standing out.

A different perspective

I never understood why Ugandans get all ecstatic at the idea of a public holiday until I learnt at a recent Men's conference that it's because we don't like to work. We've a twisted perspective toward work. We look at it as evil, a curse, something we're forced to do to survive. 

Do we love to play more than work?

Yet work is an honourable thing that ought to be embraced with enthusiasm and dynamism. It's not evil, is not a curse. It's the way to joy and fulfillment in life. And the sooner we embrace that idea the better, considering that 60 percent of adult life is spent working. 

So we shouldn't find the easy way out. Because happiness cannot be found in the lazy man's house. It cannot be found in working 'smart', which has become the unofficial synonym for swindling.  Meaning and fulfillment in life is found through being valuable and no one can add value without embracing work. 

It's in beginning to look at work as a grand opportunity to change the world that we shall be fired up. Let's begin to view work not as a means to earn a living and get the things we need in life, but rather as something through which the world can get better. Then work will cease to be drudgery but something much bigger and noble than we often render it. Let's give it the respect it deserves. Look at it as something of intrinsic value, as something to which we can proudly apply ourselves with focus, passion, creativity, excellence and integrity. 

 

And you know what will happen? We shall have prosperity, influence, and most of all an inner fulfillment that has remained elusive even to some of the richest people in the world who used shortcuts to accumulate their enormous wealth.

Let me end with the words of Nathan Eldon Turner: "Service is the rent we pay for the privilege of living on this earth."

The beautiful and the ugly

Ugly is a very ugly word that should never be used in the definition of one's looks because the real human being is not the body that you see but the soul or spirit that indwells it.

Let me put it in more graphic terms. The tortoise is not defined by its cracked shell but the humble harmless creature on the inside. And just as the tortoise shell is not the tortoise, the human body is not the real human being but a mere "designer shell", to use the words of Christian rapper Renee Emcee. Thus somebody's "designer shell" might be unattractive like tortoise shell but that does not make that person ugly. 

If beauty was defined in terms of looks, some of the world's most "attractive" women wouldn't be still single and struggling to attract or keep a husband. Likewise some of the most "unattractive" women wouldn't be happily married. 

It's sad that the beautiful-ugly phenomenon has been accepted in the world of women. Those who think they are not beautiful enough are doing everything to enhance their beauty to their detriment. In a quest for acceptance and validation from men, they have allowed to be used anyhow anywhere by anything. 

Then most of those who think they are beautiful enough have become inflated with pride; strutting about like peacocks, rejecting proposals from "lesser" men only to wake up too late! Others in this category often become too preoccupied with their "beauty" that they absolutely forget about their brains...to their detriment. 

If we want beauty, let's work hard to make the inner person better; if we must define beauty let's define it based on what comes  from inside out, not merely on what's outside. Paradoxically, you cannot become beautiful without first becoming U.G.L.Y., which is an acronym for "U Gotta Love Yourself", something I learned from Ugandan rapper Abbas Amin, who calls himself "Ugly Emcee."

Knowing you, appreciating you

A dear friend is worried that she's growing fat and ugly. We were chatting on WhatsApp when she loaded  her latest picture and asked, "What do you see?"

 "I see a fearfully and wonderfully formed creature," I said honestly. "I see a gorgeous woman in a perfectly fitting red dress..." 

With Natasha Museveni. She's beautiful from the inside out

 "Stop kidding, Dennis, and read the writing on the wall!"

That totally confused me. The mist had hardly cleared when she said, "I've become a hippo, I have! Don't you see all the weight I've gained?" 

I shook my head in wonder. Who tells our beautiful women that a little more meat on the bones is a bad thing?

I guess my friend is still grappling with the change that came after Campus. Back then she was so pencil-thin that I used joke that a gust of wind will one day airlift her to the end of the world, never to be seen again.

Today she has a big bank job and attends many important meetings where the best delicasies are served. Now she skips them and has resorted to one  meal a day, and drinking lots of warm water. All in a bid to put on no more weight. It's flabbergasting that with her education and versedness, my friend doesn't know the difference between being healthy and being fat.

Our girls need to know that beauty has nothing to do with weight or looks. Beauty is an inside thing. It begins with understanding and appreciating who you are -- a  unique creation that can never have an exact substitute just as you can never be someone else. Even identical twins have different thumb prints and temperaments.

It's in knowing yourself and appreciating your individuality that others will be attracted to your light, weight or non thereof.

Marriage is a wonder

Marriage. The oldest and most sanctified institution on earth. Started in the Garden of Eden when God after creating the first man realised it was not good for him to be alone and so made for him a stunningly beautiful woman named Eve.

Immediately Adam saw her he waxed lyrical, "bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh..." Eve cooed with delight, and just like that, Adam introduced to fellow men to the ecstatic business of courtship. 

Imagine that covenant: two separate beings of opposite sexes getting glued into oneness till the end of time. The wife can then never have eyes for another man, and the husband can then never have eyes for another woman. Their affections are now interlocked and you put them asunder at your own peril.

The man is weaned entirely from self and so is the woman. Everyday the man dies for the woman. And everyday the woman dies for the man--sacrificing for one another. Far be it from anyone of them to give the devil glory by straying. So the wise stay on their knees praying and paying attention to one another and doing everything they can to keep the sparks flying. 

Sometimes one will hurt their sweetheart for they are flawed beings; the DNA that came from Adam's fall still flows in our veins after all. But hurting is never the intention of one spouse to another. Pleasing her/him is the only intention. So any spotted trace of friction is immediately snuffed out by instant action. The wheels of love are oiled daily, and no one will bolt away at the first fault. They are in this from everlasting to everlasting. 

Now you know that marriage in its authenticity is no ordinary relationship but a deeply intimate friendship and a profound fellowship built on the rock of Christ. It's meant to be savoured and its delightful aroma breathed in everyday as the couple's fence and defence against home breakers and enemies of fidelity.

The sorrows and joys of love

A young man once met a young woman whose blossoming beauty softened his rustic face and made him sigh.

"That beauty of yours ought to be entered in the Guinness Book of World Records," said the young man to the young woman. For his complement, the young man was rewarded with a red hot slap in the face.

After recovering, the young man said, "Forgive me young lady but if it's a sin to appreciate your beauty, it must be an even more grievous sin to fall in love with you" and walked away, shaking his head. 

.... love finds you like that and determines to stay...

After waking up that morning, the young man had written down things he was going to do that day, and falling in love had not been one of them. Until he met the young at the conference standing there looking like the most beautifully wrapped gift he had ever seen, the young man had never believed in love at first sight.

Now as he walked home with the face of the young woman stuck on his mind like a tattoo, he thought: Love is a coincidence; love hits you when you least expect it; love is a marvel. It found him just like that and determined to stay. 

 A couple of years down the road, the young woman continued to spurn the young man. But deep inside he knew she knew they could flow but she was afraid to take the plunge of faith. She had lived a good life in the city and the young man had lived a rugged peasant's life in the village. 

It was disillusioning that he could not get someone that meant a whole lot to him. The sorrows of that filled many bottles but after many years the young man wiped his tears and married another young woman that loved and respected and helped him live his grand dream.

What's in a name?

I recently met a young entrepreneur named Tremendous. 

"Is that your real name?" I asked after the introductions. 

"Yes," he said. 

We got talking some more and I was amazed by his tremendous acumen and know-how. Tremendous deals in ships; yes, he buys and sells ships. Isn't that tremendous? Even more tremendous were his other dreams; he wants to venture into the business of making transportation easy and affordable within the region. 

Whatever you name, name with wisdom for there's tremendous power in a name

"I want to bring in small planes and make it very cheap for ordinary Ugandans to fly anywhere around the country and the region in the shortest possible time," he said enthusiastically. Remembering how I once sat in a bus for close to three days travelling from Kampala to Dar es Salaam, I told him that was a tremendous idea that would give tremendous relief to many people who are tired of exhausting journeys on buses to and from upcountry, or within East Africa.

Meeting and talking to Tremendous was tremendously inspiring. Contrary to Shakespeare, I believe that a rose by any other name would smell differently. There's much more in a name. I wondered what Tremendous's life would have turned out like if he had another name, say, 'Smallmind.' Essentially, the names we are given ultimately define us. Many people tell me I am a kind and inspiring person—a trait that matches my name, Muhumuza, which means "comforter."

It is also said the way former Nigerian president Goodluck Jonathan attained the throne was out of sheer good luck just like his name. Someone may argue that he was not just as lucky when he lost the presidential election this year, but you can ever wipe away his legacy as one of the presidents of Africa's rich and most populous nation. So, whatever you name: a child, a business, an idea--name it with tremendous wisdom because there's tremendous power in a name.