The beauty of waiting

When young Florentino sees beautiful Fermina, he vows to love her eternally. But as he is poor, the girl is married off to the rich and famous Dr Juvenal. An undeterred Florentino tells his uncle he will wait for Fermina's husband to die so that he can marry her. It is a crazy idea. Suppose Dr Juvenal lives to be 90? No problem; Florentino will still be waiting! It is the loads of patience that I love most about Florentino's character as portrayed in the movie Love in the Time of Cholera. For to be willing to wait for as long as it takes to win your prize is admirable especially in this day and age of quick fixes.

Loyal Gunners! Congrats on winning FA Cup

 When I consider the taunts Arsenal fans suffered for not winning  anything in nine years, I doff my hat for Florentino who waits for 51 years, nine months and four days before Dr Juvenal dies. For the Gunners the long suffering ended last Saturday when we came from down to lift the FA Cup. The victory was worth savouring seeing that Hull City stunned us with two quick goals before we recoved and conquered.

In my mind resonated the words of a fellow optimist who said it is not over when you lose games or trophies; it is over when you lose faith and hope. This is true in all endeavors. Jose Morinho branded

Arsene  Wenger "a specialist in failure" but Wenger went on to win FA Cup while the self-proclaimed 'special one' won nothing for Chelsea. Likewise Florentino was a commoner but his over 50 years of patience won him his true love. Are you willing to wait for as long as it takes to fulfill your dream?

For the undying love of soccer

Manchester City was last Sunday crowned English Premier League champions, leaving Liverpool fans headed by my happy-go-lucky colleague Don Wanyama and Aldrine Nsubuga Snr swallowing painkillers, ha-ha! I feel your pain, Don. Liverpool has been the most exciting team to watch but all they got from their attack-mindedness and fast-pacedness was second position. At least you are back into the top four English clubs with the privilege of playing Champions League football.

Everyone needs a revolution to make big things happen. And Liverpool's revolution began in pre-season when Brendan Rodgers gave its owner a 180-page manuscript detailing his grand vision for the club. Do you have a written-down plan of how you want your life to pan out?

"Attractive, attacking football" typifies Rodgers' philosophy of resurrecting Liverpool's lost glory. He deployed the quick-footed pair of Louis Suarez and Daniel Sturridge that left opponents chasing after the wind. They effortlessly penetrated defences; giving Liverpool a cutting edge that awed pundits and made fans believe for the first time in over 20 years.

Yet as the season neared its end and competition grew stiffer, beauty and pace were not enough. When Chelsea packed a 'bus' in its goal posts, The Reds lacked the creativity that distinguishes true champions. In frustration, their captain made a costly mistake that Manchester exploited to catch up.

When Liverpool surrendered a 3-0 lead to Crystal Palace three days later, it was proof they are still small boys with a lot more to learn. Manuel Pellegrini's men would win their second last match and get ahead by two points. And with their confident and conscientious play; without room for errors, poor Liverpool would have to lick its wounds and try again next season.

"Their offensive potential has been absolutely brutal and fantastic," Arsene Wenger said by way of congratulating the new champions. And a City fan waved a banner that cheekily captured the euphoria of winning it twice in three years: "Oops we did it again!"

Loving children (part three)

This was published on Mothers Day about a fortnight ago

 In my last instalment of Loving children, I honour my second mother Teddy Busingye Bangirana, for all the love and care she took in raising me and my eleven siblings. As children she fed us on a balanced diet, bathed us three times a day, arrayed us in clean cloths and tucked us in for noontime naps. We lived in Kabale then, and being a very cold place in

With my second mother Teddy Busingye

the mornings and evenings, we always had running noses! And she would envelop our noses with her mouth and use her tender tongue to mop us thoroughly clean! I can never forget that motherly act. She also led us on our knees in prayer nightly. Prayer has remained a potent force in my life. 

It is when both or either of the parents is actively involved in the lives of children that they grow up with emotional stability that helps them to navigate the challenges of adulthood. Psychologists say a child knows almost as soon as it is a few hours old whether or not it is loved. A child who feels consciously or subconsciously rejected often grows up as a 'problem child'; doing crazy things and seeking love in the wrong places, through wrong means.

"Inside every child is an emotional tank waiting to be filled with love," says child psychologist Dr. Ross Campbell. "When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally, but when the love tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehaviour of children is motivated by cravings of an empty love tank."

 Loving children is more about bonding; playing and laughing with them, helping out as they do homework, teaching them to pray, tucking them in bed, anything that brings deeper connection. It is when children sense that they are understood, loved and wanted that they grow up with inner security that helps them to become responsible and productive citizens. 

Happy Mother's Day to Teddy Busingye Bangirana, and to all the mothers doing the best they can.

Loving children (part two)

There is a virtual picture of a sad-looking, barefoot, half-naked boy in a dirty t-shirt with an inscription: "I can be president!" It is a moving picture that speaks a thousand words. Looking at that picture, I thought about Yoweri Museveni as a child; a pastoralist's son in the grazing fields with his enkoni, watching to ensure no cow strays. Today he is the president; the most important person in the country! How about Barack Obama? A skinny black boy growing up without his father, in a country with such deep-rooted racism that for long it was inconceivable for a black person to become president there. Yet today he is!

All important people come from children

Yes, that dirty child can become president too. All great people come from children. Sadly, today's child is not enjoying as much protection and guidance as children of past generations. They are left at the mercy of the househelp who often is untrained and so miserably paid that they have no interest in the job beyond enjoying the free food and free entertainment beamed by the plasma screen in the house. One rich single mother returned home early and found her house boy watching gay pornography with her seven-year-old son.

The abandonment and neglect of children starts with adults acting without considering the consequences of their actions. Man sleeps with woman, makes her pregnant, denies responsibility. Embittered woman
delivers child, raises child with more bitterness, child grows up rootlessly and is lucky not to turn into a dangerous dopehead.

Let the purpose of adults be to raise children into what they are created to become. That will be my discussion next Sunday --looking at how to reach that child and change the future.