Habits of successful people

It was on the strength of that theme that I attended a recent World of Inspiration event in Kampala. My kind of successful man has always been one with the ability to buy his own wedding suit (you would be surprised how many men beg to buy or borrow suits to wed in!) But by the time chief guest Patrick Bitature (of Simba Telecom and Uganda Investments Authority) concluded his presentation, my definition of success had changed.

World of Inspiration MD, Robert Bake interviewing author Doreen Baingana at the monthly Authors' Forum.  Bake is lauded as the number one baker of inspiration in Uganda.

Remember the research study that revealed Kenyans to be about three times more hardworking that Ugandans? Apparently, we are a bunch of lazy bums that spend days fidgeting with mobile phones hoping to bag big in the Sukuma promotion and live like young rajahs forever after!

Others look at university education as a straight line from poverty to riches. These often are the intellectual cream that join the corporate world instead of going straight into business. But as Mr Bitature said, "You can never earn as much when you work for someone else." It's after they are beset by poor pay and too much work that they consider business.

Though commendable, the journey to success is strewn with thorns. You need a firm grasp of yourself to go on. You are your biggest enemy if you do not work smart because working hard is not good enough. Being lucky isn't, either. All ingredients are essential: a solid plan, life skills, a competitive streak, time management, a grasp of the dynamics of the market, smart and trustworthy partners, military discipline, prayer, stamina and the confidence that you were created to excel.

But even before all that, you must find something that gives you a high. If it does not give you that adrenaline rush, do not do it! I've been there; have done and run away from jobs that bored me to near to death even when the money was good. But oh, the joy of doing a job one loves. Nothing beats it! So if you are lucky to find one, do magic with it as Robin van Persie does with the ball, and your success will move the world.

So let us do it; let us rise up with the optimism that each one of us has what it takes to change our destiny, and we shall amaze even us by the sheer greatness of our achievement.

Putting away childish ways

Something so unbelievable happened that I can only get rid of it by writing about it. A well-known professor at Uganda's oldest and most prestigious university had a little too much to drink and started bleating like a Billy goat on heat.

When you become a man you put away childish ways

"Meei! Mpya-mpya! Meei…" he went on and on, much to the astonishment of all. Some of his colleagues looked down in shame, and one of them exclaimed, "Oh God, what is this!" We can excuse Bebe Cool for dancing on top of tables to get onto the front page of a national newspaper, but for a professor to start imitating a he-goat in the presence of some of the high and mighty of this land who were there, and the graduates and youth he is meant to inspire, is, in Ugandan parlance, "for world cup!"

It reminded me of way back when I had just started freelance reporting. An editor I had until then regarded highly summoned me to his desk and asked me to "hook" him with some of my (girl) friends. I stared at the wedding ring on his finger and asked if he was serious, and he laughed. I later gathered the man has daughters the age of the campus girls he was seeking to ruin with his randy ways.

How about some of these flabby old women that in a bid to keep up with the fashionistas, are seen on the streets strutting in tight trousers stuck between their bums with the obvious panty lines to complete the shame. And you wonder if there are no people in their lives to tell them before they step out how horrible they look!

Also consider the case of a politician faking his own kidnap to win sympathy votes, or a married woman that has resorted to faking an orgasm like she is not mature enough to discuss with hubby and find a solution.

They say there is a drop of insanity in every man but surely we need to outgrow our childishness and get real if we're to live accomplished lives. As that sage of old, Paul the apostle, beautifully put it: "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways."

Honouring the women in my life

It will be International Women's Day on Thursday, and what better opportunity to honour the two women who, more than any other woman on earth, have shaped my life.

The Mom that birthed me

The first birthed me. I do not remember the sweetness of her breast milk or the tenderness of cuddling in her arms because she left when I was too little to understand or remember, but she carried me in her womb for nine months, and that is special.

On my graduation day with Dad and Mom that raised me

The second raised me, and although I used to have some issues with the way I was brought up, I'm thankful to look back with eyes of understanding.

It is with flowing love therefore, that I open myself up to honour these two women for their input in my life that has helped greatly define the man I am. The fundamental truth that should be indelibly lodged in the souls of all men is the gift of mothers that the Creator availed to the world.

I never knew my real mom until I was about 20. That day, we stood speechlessly staring at each other. Then she told me how much she had missed me and prayed for me. I stood there unaffected because the only mom I knew was the one that raised me. It took me another year to comprehend.

The woman that raised me, a midwife, is the most hardworking woman I know. Being woken in the dead of night to help women deliver, and watching how she used to help the gardeners at home taught me an important lesson about what it means to be committed to serving humanity.

But I appreciate her more for indoctrinating in me the value of prayer from the rosary we prayed every night. Today, I cannot live without prayer.

I was a complicated child; taciturn and withdrawn but she knew how to seize the rare times I was sanguine to appreciate and compliment my efforts. It meant a big deal.

Today, I attribute the stability and success of our family to the fact that she worked hard and sowed seeds of commitment, courage, compassion and honour. It is not easy to raise 12 children who are currently increasingly showing the potential for remarkable achievement.

To you the two incredible women, I know you know I'm not good at expressing myself orally, but I want you to know I love you equally and affectionately. Happy Women's Day.