Shades of success

To many success revolves around having a lot of money in a bank and in assets that guarantee consistent cash flow. That way they can afford living in their dream houses, driving their dream cars, piloting their private jets or cruising in their own yachts, travelling the world, taking their children to prestigious schools, and so fourth. To some of these people it doesn't matter how their money is accumulated; all that matters to them is having more than enough to afford their dream lifestyles and leave a huge inheritance to their children and children's children.

 To others success is not so much about having stashes and stashes of money in foreign banks as it is about helping the needy. People behind most charity organisations channel all their energies in giving a chance to the suffering lot. The Rotarians, Red Cross and World Vision people and those running orphanages draw their meaning out of touching lives and dispelling darkness with the light of love. Mother Teresa remains a huge inspiration to these people. 

Then there are those to whom success is all about scaling academic heights, making new inventions, discovering the cure for HIV/Aids for example, exploring uncharted territories, breaking records in sports; being inducted in various Halls of Fame or entering the Guinness Book of Records.  These are the curious lot and they work pretty hard to set new precedence; for that's what makes them feel useful and successful.

Finally some measure success in terms of their religious beliefs and dispensations. To them nothing else matters except living a life that is pleasing to their Creator. Such people are morally disciplined, and though some fall by the wayside others rise up with greater determination every time they fall. Like Jesus telling His disciples not to be happy because the demons heed their commands, but to be happy only because their names are written in the book of life, these people seek success that is eternal; their words, thoughts and deeds are meant to have them ushered in Heaven when they finally give up their ghosts.

What is success to you?

Don’t isolate yourself

If I was asked to give one advice to anyone with a dream, I would say, never isolate yourself. We begin to die the moment we isolate ourselves like an island. 

 In the animal kingdom, no predator can attack a group of animals recklessly. Successful hunts are a result of the hunter isolating the hunted. I once watched National Geographic documentary in which lions worked together to kill an elephant that had been isolated. 

 That much is true in life. We are weak and vulnerable when we are alone, but very strong and progressive when we work as a team. In this day of capitalism most people want to walk alone and the time of coming together to socialise is no more. More and more educated ladies no longer see the use of marriage when they can have a child that they can raise independently. But there's everything wrong with that arrangement for a child deserves love and mentorship from both parents. 

Numbers and togetherness are also the secret behind successful businesses. Daily Monitor which is celebrating 25 years of existence started when a group of big dreamers came together to build something that would leave an indelible mark on our society. More team players jumped on board and today we have a thriving media empire that makes power wielders in the region tread carefully well knowing somebody is watching every step they take! 

 So, if you to have a dream to step on the moon, don't be out there chasing it all by yourself for as I said, isolation is the first and last step before the wolves get you. It takes a team of like minds; people that connect and believe in their abilities; bold and shrewd persons with burning zeal and solid intergrity blending their varied strengths and sticking together, that great things happen. 

In sickness and in health, rich and poor, we are better off fighting together than alone, for that's the only way to evolve. Alone we dissolve and die with unfulfilled potential.

Wealth is useless without health

Now I believe the greatest wealth anyone can have in this world is not connected to property such as yachts, private jets, land or buildings. The greatest wealth anyone can have while he still has the breath of life is good health.

I arrived at this conclusion after spending the last two weeks in hospital where I saw and heard people cry day and night in excruciating pains and watched others die because of health-related problems that could have been avoided with better living. Conditions like diabetes, lung and kidney diseases, blood pressure, overweight and high-sugar levels are mostly a result of poor eating habits, smoking, lack of exercises and generally careless living. 

A friend who lives in Chicago told me junk food is the cheapest there; only eaten by those who cannot afford a healthier meal. But in Uganda junk food is expensive and mostly eaten by those with a lot of money to spend. I shudder every time I pass by fast-food restaurants and see my fellow Ugandans heartily gobbling chips and chicken worth 16,000 shillings and washing them down with soda when a healthier meal of beans and matooke at a typical restaurant next door is 4,000 shillings. 

There never have ever been a time to start living healthy like now! We must choose the food we eat deliberately, we must do exercises, we must sleep well and we must surround ourselves with optimists who lift our spirits, not pessimists who make us weary with their negative talk. 

Life is short and its sinful to shorten it further with careless living. Not many people have the means to meet the often sky-high hospital bills, even those who do are many times proved by the merciless diseases of the body that their money can't help them. 

I leave you with the words of an anonymous wise man who said, "Wealth is useless when your health becomes useless."

On fatherhood

One of the easiest things to do is to make a baby. A man's seed can swim and fertilize a female egg in less than a minute. Thus fatherhood has never been about the size and length of the thing dangling between the legs, or the ability with which it performs.

Fatherhood in its authenticity is linked to the providence and security a man renders. Providing not only material but also moral things; providing the wisdom with which your family can navigate through the labyrinths of life. Setting an example through words and actions as would command the respect of your family and society; words and actions worthy of emulating. 

These two: providence and security have nothing to do with the amount of money one has on his bank account. Some men are good providers and faithful partners who have however failed to participate in the upbringing of their children because they are so busy. They go to work when their children are still sleeping and return when their children are asleep. In the end television has taken over their roles as attested by the words and conduct of their children. These children often have no motivation beyond having a good time. We studied with some at Campus; they rarely attended lectures soberly, and they hired poorer students to do course works for them. Their parents were not taking responsibility for them and the children didn't care about living responsibly. 

It's a painful disease and difficult to cure to have a father but grow up rootless like an orphan. Orphans are not only those whose parents are dead but also those whose fathers don't create one-on-one moments with them. Consequently there's a subtle rejection which these children grow up with. And as Mother Teresa said, the greatest disease is not cancer but rejection; the feeling of being unwanted and unappreciated, of being alone in a world full of people. This silent rejection is what kills motivation and suppresses talents so that children affected by it grow up without the vigour for life.

My kind of hero

Time is very interesting. Especially in the way it loves to show us that the people we often idolise as our heroes are often as far from heroism as the heavens are high above the earth. 

Time just waits patiently until it opens widely the secret closets of our perceived heroes. Then we turn our noses away overwhelmed not only by terrible stench emanating from there, but also by the sheer shame of having allowed ourselves to be duped for so long. 

So every Heroes Day when I see our dear president dishing out all types of medals to all types of 'heroes' my mouth curves into a wry smile. Because he does not use his wide spy network to dig into the secret lives of those people to determine whether they are worthy of reward. 

Consider the case of a 'big-time' entrepreneur who never pays his workers, never pays his taxes and is wanted by the bank for failure to repay his loans. Yet because a failed state and fallen institutionalism, this man's businesses are still in operation and the state awards him a medal of entrepreneurship! 

But the real heroes are out there living humbly and quietly. They are the kind of people with such generous hearts that when you visit they will kill chicken for you even when they don't have much to live on.

They are the kind of people that are not afraid to speak up against unfairness. For example when you're in a queue at the bank and someone who disrespects order comes and tries to jump the line the true hero will fight that unfairness. 

They are the kind parents or guardians who deliberately, through words and actions set out to mentor their children to grow up with responsibility, teaching them to work for what they need and want rather than expecting free handouts. 

They are among the very few with nobility of character that when they say I will call at 10 pm they will, and when they borrow money they pay back. 

The true heroes are few. Very few in fact that they can only be found on the narrow road that leads to heaven.

The Macron learning curve

Emmanuel Macron is the new kid on the block. At only 39 years, he has excited the world by winning the French presidency. A BBC profile of him reveals he's a smart and ambitious kid who has always gone for gold. To the young people, he's the knew John F. Kennedy, the new Barack Obama, the new Yoweri Museveni and the new Tony Blair who all arrived on the scene so young and so capable that they inspired optimism beyond measure.

 Kennedy had his life snuffed out by an assassin before his potential was maximised, Obama realised coming too early meant leaving too early but is doing admirably well living quietly outside the presidency, Blair quit over Brexit but the cold out there has tempted him into trying to bounce back, while Museveni has overstayed his welcome and blown out the spark of inspiration he lit in many hearts when he stood outside the precincts of parliament in 1986 and diagnosed the problem of Africa as leaders who overstay in power, declaring that he was not a custodian of a mere change of guards but of a fundamental change. 

What we learn from all this is that what matters is not the quickness with which we achieve and the enormity of what we achieve but the foresight of quitting at the right time and the humility to live simply. 

We also learn that the ascendency to the peak at a young age does not mean we are smarter and better than others but simply means we were just destined to achieve early. Jesus was destined to launch his three-year ministry at 30 while Donald Trump was fated to become the president of the most powerful nation at 70. 

So whatever we achieve, let's avoid the arrivalism syndrome that often infects Ugandans; filling them with pride and stopping them from trying harder after attaining the "1234" which stands for one wife, two children, a three-bedroom house and a four-wheel-drive. One thing for sure, there's no better achievement than loving more and staying humble.

Words of life

Most girls justify their rejection of 'poor' boys by saying: "No one eats words!" So they throw themselves at rich men who give them expensive material things but mistreat them, cheat on them and never appreciate their worth like a guy of easy means would. What these girls don't know is that sincere words of love and appreciation give far more joy and strength than an expensive meal with an expansive guy who doesn't genuinely love you. 

Even outside the context of love, a timely word of wisdom to a needy soul satisfies more than the best dish. As the wise king Solomon, said, "The lips of the righteous feed many" and as Isaiah 50:4 says, "The Lord God has given me the tongue of a disciple and of one who is learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to those who are weary." 

Words are so powerful that God ignored clay and spoke the world into existence instead! Personally I've received emails and social media inboxes from some of you readers appreciating the encouragements you receive from this column. Martin Luther Jr used words to rally the masses in the fight against racism and so were writers like Richard Wright. Pastors and motivational speakers use words to uplift sorrowing souls. Even in football the manager who knows how to inspire his players to bring out the best in them often wins far more than the best technical coach. 

Blessed is the person who has discovered how yummy divine words are; devouring them day and night. They will flow out of that person like a fountain from which the thirsty will have their fill of refreshment. One such person is my friend Robert Bake of World of Inspiration who is making a lot of money by feeding the masses on food for the soul --words that build and empower! As he once told me, "I am someone who devours words the way I would a buffet. In fact, if someone wants you to get stunted they will give you food. If they want you to prosper they will feed you with words of transformation. Words are the rods with which the wise catch fish."

How to curve your name on the tablet of somebody's heart

Things have happened that have poked me to the core; making me think about the subject I dread thinking about: death. The five-octave thought that rises above the dolorous din is, would anyone genuinely cry for me if I dropped dead today? Would somebody out there really miss me one, two, three or more years after my burial?

In this I want to think I'm not alone. It's part of the peculiarity of humanity that we want to be remembered always as if to defy the finality of death; telling off the grim reaper, that though you may take me you will never wipe me away from the minds and hearts of those who knew and loved me deeply. 

Live better now because tomorrow may never come

That's the word: love. The all-important word without which life would be colourless. It's the drive behind our waking up everyday to go hustling. We want to achieve much, and make a lot of money to splurge on our loved ones and give back to society so we can be appreciated to the extent of our names getting engraved on the hearts of many people. 

That's why for me to live is to live at peace with everyone as I possibly can. I hate confrontations and violence. I hate using mean words. I like to speak words that build; words that can brighten somebody's world. Because I've observed that the world is full of troubles; there are many hurting and unloved people, and it costs nothing to smile and be gracious and give a helping hand. 

It's out of the good things we do for others that good memories of us are formed. We are all candidates for death (it's only a matter of time) and those left behind will have good or stinking memories of us depending on the good or stinking choices and deeds we made while we lived. The decision to begin to live better has to be made now because tomorrow may never come.

Defying world philosophies

Philosophy is simply the way you view life. Everyone has philosophies by which they live, but there are general philosophies that many people have accepted to be their guiding principles and these philosophies have ultimately choked their individuality and creativity. Take the example of girls and boys who have accepted the philosophy that you have to be married by the age of 35 and when you are not you are as good as dammed. As they approach that age they panic and end up with the wrong partners simply because they were afraid of waiting longer.

Don't follow every philosophy like a dog follows its master

 The reason Muhammad Ali became the greatest boxer of all time had something to do with his refusal to be defined by world philosophies. He lived on his own terms, including developing unique fighting styles that boxing pundits first criticized but later accepted as masterstrokes. Consider the rope-a-dope style in which Ali would rest his mass on the ropes of the ring and shield his head from punches, until the one throwing them tired, before Ali swung with his preserved energy to knock him out. 

Ali said, "I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want." The defiance in his words inspires me to live according to my terms as well. 

The Ugandan world says you're not a man until you drive a Rangerover yet somewhere in Netherlands a government minister goes to work everyday riding a bicycle. It's also a common philosophy that to count as somebody you have to work hard and leave a big inheritance for your children. But when John Wesley died, he left only enough money to pay his pallbearers yet he remains one of the very few men whose shining light continues to inspire many in Christendom. 

We just have to be wary of worldly philosophies that seem right but put us in a box. You just have to forget the opinions of others and live life on your terms because in the end it will not be between you and them but between you and your Creator.