A soldier in the army of the Lord

The peculiar death of Gen. Aronda Nyakairima got me thinking about a boyhood dream I pursued heartily but failed to attain. I wanted to become a soldier. There was something about the army uniform, the caps, pips and hard boots that fascinated me beyond measure and kept me awake at night dreaming of the day I would become a soldier.

One day I escaped from school with my best friend to enlist in the army. The recruitment officer looked me over and said I was too young and physically weak for the  arduous tasks I was trying to sign up for. I watched the heavy army-green truck heave away with the lucky recruits including my best friend and wept inconsolably. 

With my friend officer Kabagambe

A few years later, my friend returned on a two-week vacation. I'll never forget the envy that gripped me with an intensity that almost gave me an acute heart attack when I saw him in his full uniform, with a pistol peeping from his belt. He had grown so tall with an intimidating presence. He punctuated his sentences with swahili while his cigarette-breath hit me full blast in the face. He was no longer the childhood buddy I used to steal mangoes with in the village. He was now a soldier I  realised I was afraid of.

After another few years, my friend was brought home in a coffin. We were all devastated. I'll never forget how his mother threw herself at the coffin saying her son was too young to die. If I had any dreams of becoming a soldier still lurking somewhere in the confines of my heart, that day they were lowered along with my friend's corpse into the grave and buried with him. 

Today, as a born-again Christian I'm a soldier of Christ serving in the army of the Lord, fighting on my knees, with bullets of prayer. But I have never ceased admiring the soldier's uniform and spirit. They endure a lot for the greater good of others but often die like dogs.

I salute Gen. Aronda and pray he's in Heaven.

The red rose

My friends and I recently pulled off a 'romantic' masterstroke and watched happily as it melted the women in our lives. These women are not our lovers but friends with whom we fellowship and serve the Lord.

It happened that two of them celebrated their birthday in the same week, and a third her fifth wedding anniversary. As the men in the group we did nothing to honour them beyond saying "happy birthday" and "happy anniversary" through our WhatsApp group.

If they thought these brothers don't really know tender-loving-care beyond words, they were proved  wrong a few days later when we gave them a surprise that blew them totally away! Actually we did something simple but it was made special by the fact that it was the first time we were doing something like this. Plus the sisters realised that their born-again brothers have "game" too.

We just pooled money and ordered a nice personalised cake with the girls' names on top as the icing. We did not stop there. We also bought a red rose for each of the girls, not just the birthday girls. Real roses, not the plastic stuff.

And then we met up for prayers as usual, cake and the roses safely hidden.  After the prayers, we said, "Attention, ladies! We got a surprise for you!!" The cake was brought out and one of us spoke on behalf of the men; something brief and precise – about how we treasure our sisters-in-Christ and value the moments we always share during the fellowships.

You should have been there to see them melt with joy like butter in the sun. Oh how they bubbled with delight and sniffed the roses like they had the sweetest fragrance in the world! That evening, the sisters learned that it's not true that Christian brothers are boring. And we discovered the magic in the red rose.

No matter how tall your father is, you must do your own growing

Where I stay an elderly lady comes over every weekend to wash our cloths. Nalongo is a fantastic lady who does a fantastic job. She has since become like a  mother to most of us and we love her to bits.

 You know how the weather can be capricious; raining when you least expect it to, or shining on till dust covers the atmosphere. 

One Saturday, Nalongo was still washing when the clouds grew dark and the heavens let rip. It poured down till late evening. 

We all must do our own growing

Nalongo put the wet cloths in basins and delivered them to their owners with a promise to return early the next day to hang them on the lines to dry. 

I was standing at my door watching the evening get darker and listening to the BBC on my small radio when Nalongo knocked on the door of my immediate neighbour. He opened the door, looked at the basin, and at Nalongo and grumbled: "You're giving me wet cloths." 

"Yes," Nalongo countered kindly, "you saw the rain." She was still soaking wet and shivering.

"But what am I supposed to do with wet cloths?" the spoilt bachelor continued, pouting like some unhappy little girl.

I was shocked and got dazed as so many questions raced through my mind. Was he blaming Nalongo for the rain? Did he want the poor woman to carry that basin of wet cloths to her home and return them in the morning?  Did he want her to command the sun to return that late and instantly dry his cloths? Or was  she a powerful miracle-maker who would with the snap of a finger invent some wind-driven fan to fan his cloths dry?  

Friends, I stood there shaking my head in amazement, wondering, "who grew" this boy! Then I remembered a line I had read somewhere: that no matter how tall your father is, you must do your own growing. Obviously this crybaby in a man body still has a lot of growing up to do. You really can tell boys from men by how they react to simple situations.

A heart-connection

Did you know that people need people to encourage them? We all try and all want somebody to find something to genuinely appreciate about us. Even that dopehead deep inside hates his lifestyle and wants to strip off that addiction, but will have no time to do that until the arrows of condemnation cease whizzing about and give him sober time to take stock if his life and do something better with it.

Did you know that people don't care about your riches, position or fame until they know you really care?  Because it's true that money, power and such things don't buy happiness. Happiness comes from sitting down and having intimate conversations with the people in our lives. Coming to check on me in prison or in the hospital is better than sending money. Spending time with your children and family is better than ensuring that they have everything money can buy. People want a heart-connection not a things-connection. 

Did you know that words have power greater than nuclear power? So powerful are words that the world was spoken into existence! You may disagree because you're  a proponent of the Evolution Theory, but you agree you ever melted a woman's heart with words. Or maybe somebody said something to you 20 years ago that you have never forgotten. Now that you know the sheer power of words, use words to bless not to curse, to lift not to destroy. There's something T-Bag calls "the captivity of negativity" that we must wage war against and there's no way we shall  win without speaking positivity.

Like the Nigerian lizard that jumped from the high tree and landed safely, praise yourself if no one does.  Those who know the power of the tongue and use their mouth well will eat the good of the land. Good words are that refreshing and empowering. Positive words will lead to a positive mindset and lifestyle that will take you places and make you an influencer that people will be running to like moths to a light bulb.

The terrible three

There are three terrible things that kill potential and prevent people from living out their true destinies. Fear, guilt and inferiority complex. But these are mere scarecrows that shouldn't stop anyone.

Find what makes you tick and be tick

To begin with FEAR, someone has rightly called it an acronym for "False Evidence Appearing Real". It's a real scarecrow because when confronted head on, it always gives way. Very quickly. But given chance, it enslaves viciously as we see in the tragic story of Okonkwo, a man so driven by the fear of being thought weak that he kills a boy under his custody and later a white official. Realising too late the enormity of what he has done, Okonkwo commits suicide and is buried like a dog, all his exponential prosperity coming to nothing. That's the trick of fear; it rushes you to do things and thereby crashes you. The only way to overcome fear is to understand its cause, and snuff it out with courage, perseverance and a sound mind. These help you to stay sober amid challenges and cope with hope.

As for guilt, it's antidote is in acknowledging your mistake, and making amends. All human beings are flawed and we all have been failures in one way or another. Even if you killed a man or betrayed your best friend, that guilt piercing your heart like an arrow can vanish when you eat humble pie by saying I'm sorry, seek forgiveness and forgive yourself. It's the only way to heal from the past and move on.

Lastly, inferiority complex is a terrible disease that often begins with wrong upbringing, and is exacerbated by comparisons. This world will always have people that are better than you physically, financially, intellectually and otherwise. So you have to quit comparing yourself with others and delight in your uniqueness, discovering and nurturing that one thing that makes you tick. Before you know it the world itself will be eating from the palm of your hand!

It's all about guts

I often wondered why the lion is the king of the jungle when it's  obviously not the strongest and wisest animal in the wild. Then I heard Dr. Bill Winston say in one of his sermons that the lion is the king of the jungle because it has more guts; it thinks it's the strongest animal and prances about with that attitude and conviction, injecting earth-shattering fierceness into its roars to keep others aware of who the boss is.

God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and a sound mind

It makes sense. What makes even more sense is what we could achieve if we invoked our God-given guts; that inherent courage and drive that Bernard Shaw meant when he said that it's in the hour of need that a man finds his true profession. 

Consider how many men are living loveless and colourless lives because they cannot muster the guts to step up and tell the girl they love how they feel about them. Think about the number of intelligent men and women who are stuck in boring, poorly-paying jobs because they are afraid to step out and implement that idea they have been talking about for ages. 

Constantine 'Cus' D'Amato, that's the man who discovered and mentored Mike Tyson, once told his young progeny that a coward and a hero are the same inside; they both are scared of dying and getting hurt. But "It's what the hero does that makes him a hero and what the other guy doesn't do that makes him a coward." Plainly, he meant that a hero acts but a coward wishes on and never makes the definitive move that could change and transform his life. 

If you have a dream that has been reverberating in your heart, it's time to let it out; time to act. We all come out of our mothers' wombs naked and screaming, so let no body tell you you cannot make it. You're not a cockroach; there's a lion in each one of us, and when you let out that roar from the core of the heart there is nothing that can stop you from standing out.

A different perspective

I never understood why Ugandans get all ecstatic at the idea of a public holiday until I learnt at a recent Men's conference that it's because we don't like to work. We've a twisted perspective toward work. We look at it as evil, a curse, something we're forced to do to survive. 

Do we love to play more than work?

Yet work is an honourable thing that ought to be embraced with enthusiasm and dynamism. It's not evil, is not a curse. It's the way to joy and fulfillment in life. And the sooner we embrace that idea the better, considering that 60 percent of adult life is spent working. 

So we shouldn't find the easy way out. Because happiness cannot be found in the lazy man's house. It cannot be found in working 'smart', which has become the unofficial synonym for swindling.  Meaning and fulfillment in life is found through being valuable and no one can add value without embracing work. 

It's in beginning to look at work as a grand opportunity to change the world that we shall be fired up. Let's begin to view work not as a means to earn a living and get the things we need in life, but rather as something through which the world can get better. Then work will cease to be drudgery but something much bigger and noble than we often render it. Let's give it the respect it deserves. Look at it as something of intrinsic value, as something to which we can proudly apply ourselves with focus, passion, creativity, excellence and integrity. 

 

And you know what will happen? We shall have prosperity, influence, and most of all an inner fulfillment that has remained elusive even to some of the richest people in the world who used shortcuts to accumulate their enormous wealth.

Let me end with the words of Nathan Eldon Turner: "Service is the rent we pay for the privilege of living on this earth."