Confronting our pride and fears

What is the root of inhibiting factors in human beings? I was pondering this last Sunday. It was my big brother's birthday. I wanted to hug him and say "Happy birthday" with all the love I was feeling but did not. Ironic and paradoxical seeing that I do not fear him.

My big bro Julio was my childhood hero

He is the debonair big bro I grew up looking up to in the 90s, with his boxy head (French cut) and a passion for fashion (denim jeans and super-cool sneakers)! He was then in "Jovoc" – the coolest high school in Mbarara where he learnt to tell hilarious stories of high school escapades and to pull smooth dance moves that made him the envy of every guy in the neighbourhood as all the "beautiful honeys" clamoured for his attention during holiday socials.

He also shaped my taste in music with his collection of Luther Vandross, Bobby Brown, Tevin Campbell, Baby Face and Montell Jordan, among the quintessential artistes of the heydays.

Last Sunday, as we celebrated his birthday, memories gushed back like water from a broken tap. That is when I wanted to hug him and thank him with all the love I was feeling for the good times he gave us when growing up. But I did not want to be seen displaying emotions, so I blew it, and big bro will probably never get to hear how much I love him.

It all makes me wonder why we cannot be vulnerable with the ones we love and care about by revealing our innermost feelings to them. You are dying to tell someone you wronged how sorry you are but you do not want to be considered weak. You do not want to raise hands and dance in church because it would embarrass you! It is called pride, and it is the reason few men ask for directions when they are lost.

Pride and fear are the most inhibiting factors in human beings, and the most dangerous. The woman of your life is taken by another man because you feared to profess your love for her. J. Harv Eker, author of Secrets of the Millionaire, writes how "Habitual fear can trick us into believing that we can't act, that we shouldn't act, that acting toward what we really want is going to lead to pain because that's what we've been taught or because that's what happened before. You're never going to be happy or successful if you don't get beyond fear."

Which is why we MUST cast off our pride and confront our fears NOW!!!