Lecturers should be happy with goat-rearing

It is a little disappointing that the Ivory Tower lecturers ignored the president's advice and returned to the lecture room. Tending the frisky and naughty animals would have revolutionised their personal lives and earnings beyond their wildest dreams.

It is true that goats can be little devils with a knack for messing up neighbours' gardens and therefore putting you on a collision course with them, but this is where sisal ropes and an impenetrable barn will come in handy.

The other tedious bits of rearing goats such as mucking out the smelly pens, laying down clean straw, hauling buckets of water or taking them to the stream will give our lecturers strong arms, legs and general physical fitness that would leave Kampala's top body builder, Ben Lukwago, envious. Now, lecturers who award marks for sex would certainly love to hear this!

There are other advantages that the lecturers in the department of Literature will particularly love. Watching the goat nibbling a turnip or gobbling a sweet potato, even seeing young ones skipping about in the morning sun can inspire such fine poetry as would make Okot p'Bitek's Song of Lawino elementary!

It has been said that the best way to a goat's heart is through his stomach as well. They love the choicest cabbages and cereals but that should not worry you because the returns are way greater. If you attend to their needs, they will release enough milk for home consumption and to sell to the cheese factory. If you didn't know, not only is goat's milk incomparably delicious, its nutritiousness will keep you strong, wise and ageless as well.

Moreover, goat's meat is more expensive than mutton and beef, and such cost has not stopped it from selling faster than the proverbial hot cakes. If a woman has been playing hard to get, go buy her goat muchomo.
Besides, you will never bother about buying chairs and mats for the home as goat skins are warm and more comfortable sitting and sleeping on.

Here in Kampala, the goats will grant you the much coveted opportunity to belong to the exclusive class behind the annual goat races. Before you know it, you will be rubbing shoulders with the likes of Sudhir and enjoying prime coverage in the media, leaving our attention-seeking politicians green with envy.

So, really, I don't understand why our lecturers would be so disenchanted with the President for advising them to rear goats when doing so is obviously more rewarding than eating chalk for a pittance.

Golola's winning guts

Hate him or love him, Golola Moses of Uganda has got guts that we can all learn from. Those who think that the only contest he can win is the talking contest should think again. They forget that words have power because we speak from the abundance of our hearts. If your words are words of determination and optimism, you are destined for success.

Hard-Rock didn't know what hit him!

However, you are doomed if you take yourself too seriously. Motivational speakers and life coaches advise that you discover what you enjoy doing and rollick like a calf in the morning sun while you are at it. Titus Tugume turned a fatalist bully when he bought a coffin and said he was going to bury Golola alive in it. In the end, the self-proclaimed "hard rock" took such beating he even forgot his army number, ha-ha!

This is why you got to love Golola Moses, "the only man who can pocket while naked!" He is a true optimist in the league of Mohammed Ali and Rocky Marciano. Ali was equally a big talker, but he worked hard as well. Because he always put in his best, woke up early and trained hard, it gave him such confidence that he couldn't help gushing. At one time he said if you sleep and dream beating Ali, you had better wake up and apologise! He said he was so mean that he made medicine sick! That is the kind of assurance that makes all the difference in the ring as is the fight of life.

Bring in another heavy-weight boxing champion of the world, Rocky Marciano, the only pugilist who retired without losing a match. He was a man of small physical stature compared to the many giants he slew in the ring like little David did to Goliath in the valley of Elah. His secret was in his self-belief; he believed it is not the size of the dog but fight in the dog that matters. He had tenacity and such mental strength that he would not even allow the idea of defeat to enter his mind.

So, is your attitude such that life is tough, that without connection in high places and prestigious education you cannot achieve much? My friend, quit making excuses and begin to renew your mind with words of hope and firepower. Follow it with action and, like Golola Moses of Uganda, you will become "no joking subject!"

The secret of giving

The story of the Uruguayan president is a story of a selfless giver. President Jose Mujica earns a monthly salary of $12,500 (Shs32m) but keeps only $1,250 (Shs3.2m), donating the rest to charity. This has earned the 77-year-old plaudits as the most generous president in the world, and his country today is the second least corrupt nation in Latin America.

 Allen distributes sweets. It's more blessed to give than to receive

It has been said that you can give without loving but you cannot love without giving. This is evidently a man who genuinely loves and it is this love that provokes him to give that much when most of his counterparts especially in Africa are draining their national coffers for self gratification.

He also reminds me of an unnamed American who donated Shs400 million to the Makerere Full Gospel Church building project. The fact that he preferred to remain anonymous shows his is true largess, the kind that challenges you and I to be selfless givers as well.

I have read many biographies about very successful people and most of them have revealed that the greatest secret to financial security, the best secret that breaks the chains of scarcity is the secret of giving. Even the Bible says how more blessed it is to give than to receive.

And this giving, by the way, is not just about money. You give what you have, and it works if you give with all your heart. You can share some of your expertise free of charge, give some advice, help a child to cross the road, and so forth.

Giving is more rewarding when it targets the disadvantaged, those in dire need such as the orphans, poor widows and the elderly, as well as when it comes in the form of supporting worthy initiatives like contributing to a campaign to buy mosquito nets for an orphanage.

So, keep giving and never get tired of being generous. As the saying goes, he who waters will himself be watered. The blessing will blow off the roof because it comes in many forms. Good health, great friends, inner joy and a peace of mind that surpasses human understanding. This is the kind of blessing that goes beyond the tangible and stretches into eternity.

How wonderful, then, it would be to emulate the precedent set by President Jose Mujica, and begin to be selfless givers. For as St. Paul the Apostle implored, "Let us not grow weary in doing good for in due season we will reap if we do not give up."