Lecturers should be happy with goat-rearing

It is a little disappointing that the Ivory Tower lecturers ignored the president's advice and returned to the lecture room. Tending the frisky and naughty animals would have revolutionised their personal lives and earnings beyond their wildest dreams.

It is true that goats can be little devils with a knack for messing up neighbours' gardens and therefore putting you on a collision course with them, but this is where sisal ropes and an impenetrable barn will come in handy.

The other tedious bits of rearing goats such as mucking out the smelly pens, laying down clean straw, hauling buckets of water or taking them to the stream will give our lecturers strong arms, legs and general physical fitness that would leave Kampala's top body builder, Ben Lukwago, envious. Now, lecturers who award marks for sex would certainly love to hear this!

There are other advantages that the lecturers in the department of Literature will particularly love. Watching the goat nibbling a turnip or gobbling a sweet potato, even seeing young ones skipping about in the morning sun can inspire such fine poetry as would make Okot p'Bitek's Song of Lawino elementary!

It has been said that the best way to a goat's heart is through his stomach as well. They love the choicest cabbages and cereals but that should not worry you because the returns are way greater. If you attend to their needs, they will release enough milk for home consumption and to sell to the cheese factory. If you didn't know, not only is goat's milk incomparably delicious, its nutritiousness will keep you strong, wise and ageless as well.

Moreover, goat's meat is more expensive than mutton and beef, and such cost has not stopped it from selling faster than the proverbial hot cakes. If a woman has been playing hard to get, go buy her goat muchomo.
Besides, you will never bother about buying chairs and mats for the home as goat skins are warm and more comfortable sitting and sleeping on.

Here in Kampala, the goats will grant you the much coveted opportunity to belong to the exclusive class behind the annual goat races. Before you know it, you will be rubbing shoulders with the likes of Sudhir and enjoying prime coverage in the media, leaving our attention-seeking politicians green with envy.

So, really, I don't understand why our lecturers would be so disenchanted with the President for advising them to rear goats when doing so is obviously more rewarding than eating chalk for a pittance.