Words words words!

Two geese were preparing to fly south when a frog begged to come along. 

"But you have no wings?"  

"That's no problem," answered the frog. "You guys just hold a stick between your beaks and I'll hang on—with my mouth."

Off the trio went, as people looked up admiring their teamwork. Suddenly somebody below shouted, "Great idea! Whose was it?" 

That's when the frog released its grip and yelled, "Miiiine!" and thus came tumbling to its death. 

Some people are like that frog. They could be making some great strides in life. Then a little success gets into their heads and they become braggarts until the true hour of reckoning pummels them into humility.

    

Every time we speak when we ought to stay silent, there are dire consequences. Reminds me of a powerful king whose niece danced incredibly at his birthday party. Overcome with excitement, the king told the little girl that he would reward her with anything she would ask for. The girl consulted her mother. The vindictive woman told her to ask for the head of her enemy on a silver platter. And just like that, an innocent man lost his precious life. 

Various human flaws mar the progress of individuals, but none is more dangerous than an unbridled tongue. As Aldous Huxley famously put it, "Thanks to words, we have often sunk to the level of the demons."

Also, have you wondered why job interviews are conducted? You have a first-class degree and the proven experience to go along with it, yet are still grilled by a panel of often mean-faced interviewers who based on your responses make the final decision. A man's words can tell truly about the content of his character. 

I guess it pays to heed the advice of Shakespearean character Hamlet, "Suit the action to the word, the word to the action; with this special observance, that you o'erstep not the modesty of nature."  

Playing the game of love

Love. Is it a game of chess that you can win through calculated moves? It's flabbergasting the rate at which many are turning into love-doctors with 'magical' tips that they claim will win you the most beautiful and intelligent woman when followed to the letter.

Can the game of love be played like chess?

"Mehn, you need to be mean; don't give her vibes about how crazy you're about her; you need to play the game," I overheard a youngster telling another as they bounced in their sagging jeans and Timberland boots at Makerere University. He was speaking with life like a hiphop beat. It was a quiet Sunday evening, and I quickened my pace to catch all the echoes.

"But I can't help myself," said the other boy, with vulnerable sincerity.

"I know. That chick is da bomb! But bruh, it's all about game. You've shown her too much interest. Now she's beginning to feel good on you. That's why she ignores your calls except when she needs your dime. I want you to withdraw for like a month, and be like you don't care and see what happens."

There was momentary silence, like the besotted teen was ruminating on what had just been said. The 'love doctor' continued, "You have to make her fall for you indirectly and that's not by showing too much interest. Chicks don't dig dudes who appear needy because when you chase her much you appear that way. You gotta be the bad boy in this game. Bad boys show women they don't give a damn even when they freakin' do! When you stop chasing; she will get concerned; she will be shaken by your independence. Chicks like independent guys. Independence to them isn't about the fat bank account, or your brother's freaking Range Rover..."

I would have loved to hear more, but they entered Mitchell Hall, and I continued down to Wandegeya, wondering if the smitten teen will take the advice and if it will work.

Let's talk about anger

The secondary school I attended was notorious for teasing and bullying. S.1 students would endure a dreadful term at the hands of  some "matures" who would whip them up in the middle of the night and attribute their savagery to the Chwezi demigods. One night, a fresher who could take it no longer stepped out and returned with a brick with which he knocked out his tormentor. That act of anger cost the student an expulsion whereas his victim spent six weeks in hospital. 

Anger is conquered through being smart and having self-control

My Encarta Dictionary defines anger as "a strong feeling of grievance and displeasure" but I prefer to describe it as a terrible emotion that makes us do things we later regret. The destructive power of anger was so known to the great apostle Paul that he advised us never to let the sun go down while we are still angry.

Obviously, anger is a human emotion just like happiness that is sometimes unavoidable. What makes the difference is how you give vent to it. Do you pick a stone and crush the head of the provocateur or do you go to your room and punch walls? 

Oh yes, there are positive ways of expressing temper that psychologists and counselors recommend. You can talk about it, take a walk, or do exercises through which fury gets slowly suppressed. But the best way for believers is to pray about it. One of the world's greatest pediatric neurosurgeons, Dr. Ben Carson, too had a problem of anger when he was a young man. So much that at one he tried to hit his beloved mother in the head with a hammer. Another time he stabbed in the belly a friend who had angered him. Luckily the knife missed and struck the metal belt buckle and broke. He realized he needed help and through prayer and reading the Bible he triumphed.

The wisest man to live, King Solomon, once said whoever is slow to get angry is wise. He also said a person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls. Anger can only be conquered through being smart and having self-control.

Learning from others

One man's life changed after he came to the end of himself and decided to do something about it. Today he's the man we are all proud of--Kenneth "Pablo" Kimuli--Uganda's bonafide king of comedy. Pablo likes to joke that the day he was born, his father looked at him and exclaimed, "Is this a joke!" Pablo has since been a living joke, but it has not been easy. Having lost his father at young age, he struggled through school, and even after graduation was so hardup that he found solace in the bottle. He would hound bars in Ntinda from 6pm to 10 am, telling funny stories in exchange for droplets of booze.

Pablo (left) is a living joke!

But one day he came to himself like the prodigal son, and decided this was not the life he wanted to live the rest of his life. He got saved, and soon after landed a job at Power Fm, where he used to sign in as "the only Mukiga from Pakwach" before proceeding to crack varied jokes live on the radio.

You may not even know that after Campus, Pablo tried his hand at writing for a newspaper but all his articles were rejected. But today he's a popular newspaper columnist. Just a moment with him does not just leave your sides paining from too much laughter, he also sends you to the high heaven with inspiration. He is by all means an optimist you will never catch sad or worried. As he likes joke, every 60 seconds of sadness is a whole minute of happiness lost!

Pablo's story proves that anyone can deprogram disillusionment and replace it with the optimism that helps you discover the gift or tal ent you can maximise to achieve your destiny. We can as well learn from Ugandan motivational speaker Ethan Musolini who picks his calls by saying, "This is the merchant of success speaking!" And true, success loves Musolini. And Pablo.

True friends

When we were at Campus, I went dancing with some friends. On our way back in the wee hours of the morning, one of us stopped to buy a prostitute in Wandegeya. We tried to stop him but he was stubborn, so we forcefully dragged him away. It's been years but he has not stopped thanking us for saving him from doing something he would have lived to regret the rest of his life.

True friends are man's greatest need

What we did is an act of true friendship. Friends--the right friends--are arguably the greatest need of every person. They are the equivalent of indispensable partnerships in business. In fact, it's an important success tenet that nobody can grow big on their own without a support system of people with whom you share interests and ambitions.

"Some people think that succeeding in business is about having a good idea and then raising capital," writes African billionaire and motivational writer Strive Musiyiwa. "If you do not know how to forge meaningful, long-term partnerships based on mutual trust, you will not make it."


This goes beyond business, to all aspects of life. Without a backup network of friends; people close to you; people who believe in you and in whom you believe enough to share your deepest secrets with, it's
hard to make serious headway. I remember a strong weakness that used to trouble me. I shared it with my prayer group. Not only did I find it therapeutic that they listened to me, they also gave me words of wisdom that helped me to make adjustments in how I was living, also prayed with me till my weakness was conquered.

Somebody once said that if you have nine friends who are fools, you are the tenth! Your friends are a reflection of your life aspirations. Surround yourself with people who will influence you positively; friends true enough to stop you from self-destruction.