Waiting is not easy but it's worth it in the end

The longer the wait the greater the joy of fulfillment. That's the thought that deliciously coursed through my mind after the 38-year-long thread of waiting was severed and the Uganda Cranes qualified for Afcon 2017. The delirium that greeted Farouk Miya's goal was like a seismic wave, whereas Janet Museveni's childlike joy perfectly embodied the delight of the nation.

Uganda Cranes' fans celebrate after the long wait is over

For me it was a timely reminder that no matter how long dreams take to come true it's crucial to hold on and never give up. Every real dream comes true if you keep trying. Mike Tyson was only a kid when he first saw Muhammed Ali. "I saw the way people looked up to him; I saw their smiling faces and I said to myself, 'That's what I wanna be. I wanna be the champion of the world.'" Tyson's dream came true in 1986 when he became the youngest heavyweight boxing champion of the world at the age of  20. 

For some people dreams never come true because they lose sight of them and stop believing. That's why it's important to know what you want to be or do and write it down, curve it on wood if possible, write it on the tablet of your heart or wear it like a necklace so that you never ever forget it and never stop thinking about it and believing it's coming true. 

God told Prophet Habakkuk to write his vision down in big block letters so that it can be read on the run. He was told that a written-down vision never lies but always gets fulfilled at the appointed time. Putting your ambitions in ink helps you to stay focused and gives you the strength to weather the twists and turns that make many give up.

The  dream has to linger longer in your psych; you have to believe and act like one created to ascend and transcend the ordinary; you've to keep trying to succeed just like the Uganda Cranes and it's only a matter of time before the big breakthrough.

The secret of drawing nearer

There are many breathtaking sights but for me the most breathtaking is the sight of the moon gliding in the sky on a cloudless night. I can sit the whole night viewing it. The serenity it exudes is always a healing balm to me after a tumultuous day or on one of those nights when for some reason certain anxieties do everything to rob my inner peace. I step out of the house and lie on my back in the compound gazing at the effortless way the moon moves; watching its majestic bearing, watching how its soothing light entices the stars to draw nearer and shine their own light with wild abandon. Watching all that assuages and quietens my soul like a weaned child with his mother.

Draw nearer the needy, love the unloved

One night after a long day I sat outside sipping coffee and watching my friend the moon. I noticed that it was unusually bright; its luminescence exceeded any I had seen before. I WhatsApped a friend of mine who too is magnetized by the wonders of nature. "Look at the moon and tell me whether you see what I see."

She soon after responded with evident wonder: "Oh my God! The moon is on song tonight!"

We later learned from the Internet that the moon was extraordinarily bright that night because it was apparently 12000 miles closer to the earth than normal. That was even more amazing to me because experts tell us that the moon does not shine its own light but rather reflects the radiance of the sun. Could it be that the sun had drawn nearer the earth as well? 

I learned from this that if a people want to shine beyond the ordinary we must draw nearer. Draw nearer to those in need and love the unloved. Draw nearer excellence to be excellent. Even in photography the nearer you are the more likely you are to get a fantastic shot. Draw nearer those smarter than us and soon we begin to reflect their light just like the moon reflects the light of the sun.

Where's my Daddy?

This goes out to all the ladies who are planning on deliberately getting babies out of wedlock. You might be well-heeled, but that child needs much more than the best toys money can buy; that child needs a father in the home and in his/her life.

Every child needs both parents

I was moved to write about this by my corporate neighbour who has two little daughters who are evidently missing a father in their lives. The little one now calls me Daddy and her sister calls me Uncle! Everyday my heart goes out to these adorable girls. The mother is too busy for them; she works for a bank and is busy Monday to Friday, sometimes even on Saturday. She leaves early and returns late. All she does is dole out endless toys to her daughters. 

She chose single motherhood because she didn't want to lose her independence by having to be accountable to a husband. Her idea was to have one child, but now she has two from different men and now admits it's a wearisome responsibility to raise them singlehandedly despite all her education and financial means. 

Basically she wouldn't advise ladies out there to get into what she got herself into. Yet it remains a trending song sung especially by feminists that it's cool to be a single mother. But when you dig into the reasons they advance, you find selfishness at the centre of it. They associate proper parenthood with the ability to provide; as long as you have enough money to feed and educate your child you don't need a man, so they argue. But how about the emotional needs of that child? 

Psychologists tell us that every child needs the presence of the father in his life as much as of the mother. That's how they learn the difference between a man and a woman, and their interdependence. If I were a woman I wouldn't like the idea of my child calling any man "Daddy" or "Uncle" - it says as much about the gaping hole in the child's soul; the hole that can only be filled by a father. It's when all the ingredients of a family unit are there that we get a stronger, steady society. That's why I'm blowing the trumpet for a paradigm shift.

The ant mentality

I recently watched a documentary in which gifted world musician Salif Keita, said, "When I see a wall behind which I think I'll find something beautiful, I'll do everything to pull it down."

The fervency with which he delivered that statement was way more inspirational than its sheer beauty and veracity. It was obvious the secret of his extraordinary success is that he allows no limitation, no mountain, no valley to stand in the way of what he wants. 

His statement also reveals his awareness that no talent, however monumental, is enough. One must be willing to go the extra mile or two to sit at the table of exponential achievers. The insufficiency of natural gifts in the journey of success was also what Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger meant when he said, "At the end of the day we are not responsible for the talent we each have, but we are responsible for what we do with our talent." 

Ants work restlessly in summer to save food for winter

Each one of us is born with some strengths. Something you're good at. Something for which you are admired. No one is born without any ability. If you think otherwise it's just that you haven't discovered the gift within. Yes, it's possible to live without discovering your natural ability, or ignore and under-utilize it, leading to underachievement. 

That's why the wise king Solomon challenged us to study the ants and gain wisdom from their drive. Those little creatures hustle day and night all of summer gathering and storing food for winter. Their exertion is very motivational but more than motivating us to work hard for our provisions, it should spur us to set goals that don't revolve around mere bread and butter since we're stronger and

wiser than ants.

All the biographies of great achievers reveal that they didn't have the onerous ant mentality of working only for food but thought bigger and worked harder for a legacy that would benefit others and outlive them. That's why Keita is globally acclaimed because no wall can stand in the way of his beautiful dreams.

"Respect my office"

I recently saw a sticker on a boda-boda that read: "Respect my office." It was obviously a shot at Ugandans suffering from what some have labelled "arrivalism syndrome" - a virus that attacks mostly young politicians, musicians and corporate employees who have started appearing in the society pages of the local newspapers and think they are a special breed; way better than the ordinary mortals!

A boda-boda rider in Kampala

In this category are people who swear they would never be seen using a taxi because that would mean coming down a peg or two; it would demean their current station in life. In the same category you find girls who won't date you because you live in a two-roomed muzigo in Bwaise. To earn their respect, you have to live in a certain neighbourhood, drive a certain car, attend certain corporate events, and hang out in certain places. 

You know the heights most Ugandans scale while putting up appearances. We lie not just about the countries we have been to but also about the schools we attended, our educational levels, the jobs we do, about our earnings and about how much we spend on pedicure and manicure! I recently read an interview in which a local actress was bragging that her wig cost two million shillings. She sounded like she wanted us to bow down in respect because of that! 

This being a developing country where many still live below the poverty line, I guess it pays to encourage oneself by putting up appearances. But when the kiss of good luck finally catapults us into grace from grass whereby even the paparazzi begin to notice us, we get carried away and start looking down on others who are simply earning an honest living without pretending to be what they are not.

A boda-boda rider recently told me that on average he takes home Ushs45,000 after the day's expenses. Do the maths and see how much that is monthly. A homeboy who is a cobbler in Kampala bought a plot of land and is building rentals from mending shoes. I see from the clients of the guy I often buy rolex (eggs rolled in chapati) from that he's generously cashing in.

So let's respect each other irrespective of background, education, trade or social standing. In fact, we have a whole lot to learn from those we look down upon.