On Anger Management

Woman or man is born crying and contends with struggles until (s)he is lowered into the grave. That is not an optimistic way to start an article, but the stresses of everyday life are inescapable. However, psychologists say having a positive attitude is an antidote to anger or stress before it even strikes you.

This man's foot was chopped out of anger

Anyway, how do you deal with stress? There are days I would lap up ice cream but it got so nauseating I made a covenant with myself never to lick that stuff again. Then I discovered popcorn. It is a perfect balm to conventional workplace stress particularly familiar with some of us in the writing business who spend a bulk of our time punching the keyboard while editors breathe fire in our faces over unmet deadlines.

Then the subeditors have this eerie habit of omitting a letter from your headline or replacing it extraneously, or even scrapping a paragraph without your involvement, thoroughly murdering the aestheticism of the article. Now, that is infuriating! But rather than smash walls, these days I buy me a big bowl of popcorn and close my eyes listening to the onomatopoeic scrunch in my mouth till the bowl's empty. It has such calming effect.

Jogging or walking from my workplace all the way home helps too. But nothing beats the beat! I mean the music. It is said to mop from the soul the dust of everyday life, and it is true. It is in times like these that you appreciate the sophistication of your phone; you plug the earphones into the right places, and before you know it, you are bopping like nobody is watching – all the stress gone. It works magic especially, if, like me, you have arranged your favourite hits in consonance with certain moods. My playlists are for instance labelled “Soothing, Inspiration, Dancing, Worship” , meaning I listen to each depending on my mood.

Now, I have heard of uncouth people who scream like psychos and give vent to their anger by turning their wives into punching bags or smashing the windscreen of the hubby’s car. These need the intervention of an experienced counsellor, or better still should enrol in an anger-management school. I cannot help them!

But I certainly can deal with the easy cases. Stress psychotherapists advise that you get physical, the intimate way. That wife can nag and that hubby can infuriate, I know. But before you go berserk and kill somebody or smash something, grab your spouse, and say you hate fighting with the one you love. Follow that up with a kiss and go all the way. Not only is sex a fantastic stress reliever like other good exercises, the deep breathing involved is said to oxygenate blood. Advisory: this is strictly for married couples.