My young brother
wed last week, and some people pulled me aside to say that surely, I
need to do something as well, because time is not just running out, but
flying away on me.
I found it ironic that one of these people got married and separated from his wife just two months after their wedding yet here he was, pushing me into something he has miserably failed at.
In
my opinion, marriage is not something you rush into because "time is
running out". Marriage is serious business one must prudently prepare
for physically, morally, financially and most of all psychologically.
There is the all-important first step of finding the right partner. In this highly cosmetic world, one must tread carefully, lest you take home the "liberated woman" who will soon get busy scaling the corporate heights than making her marriage work. Will she breastfeed her baby or buy a bottle because she wants to keep her breasts firm? If she prefers the bottle, she will also rather deliver by C-section than risk losing her elasticity by pushing the child through her legs.
My friend, the password in today's Uganda, especially among educated folks, is "no money, no love!" That means you should have a nice car, ready before you even pop the question. If you think the modern woman is going to hustle like the 'commonplace' woman you are in for a rude awakening.
It now truth widely acknowledged that the women that raised us are almost extinct. Oh, where and who can find a prudent wife! Now all the fantasies I had growing up as a young man, fantasies that were predominantly about finding a noble woman and lavishing all my virgin love on her, are going with the wind! I find myself wanting to emulate Jesus or Mother Theresa who never married but still led full lives.
Yet in the name of optimism, I cannot let scepticism win. For I know that God ordains marriage and whoever finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord. But this is all about a real man finding a real woman and the two becoming one in body, spirit and soul until death do them apart. This is the kind of consecrated marriage I want.
So I will marry but when I want.
I found it ironic that one of these people got married and separated from his wife just two months after their wedding yet here he was, pushing me into something he has miserably failed at.
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| My brother Allan weds Editor |
There is the all-important first step of finding the right partner. In this highly cosmetic world, one must tread carefully, lest you take home the "liberated woman" who will soon get busy scaling the corporate heights than making her marriage work. Will she breastfeed her baby or buy a bottle because she wants to keep her breasts firm? If she prefers the bottle, she will also rather deliver by C-section than risk losing her elasticity by pushing the child through her legs.
My friend, the password in today's Uganda, especially among educated folks, is "no money, no love!" That means you should have a nice car, ready before you even pop the question. If you think the modern woman is going to hustle like the 'commonplace' woman you are in for a rude awakening.
It now truth widely acknowledged that the women that raised us are almost extinct. Oh, where and who can find a prudent wife! Now all the fantasies I had growing up as a young man, fantasies that were predominantly about finding a noble woman and lavishing all my virgin love on her, are going with the wind! I find myself wanting to emulate Jesus or Mother Theresa who never married but still led full lives.
Yet in the name of optimism, I cannot let scepticism win. For I know that God ordains marriage and whoever finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord. But this is all about a real man finding a real woman and the two becoming one in body, spirit and soul until death do them apart. This is the kind of consecrated marriage I want.
So I will marry but when I want.
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