A beautiful dream

I stopped outside your father's house in a 1957 Cadillac El Dorado Convertible that my grandfather left me. You came out flying like a bird, your polkadot red dress dancing in the wind like the wings of a dove.

"Put this on and let's go somewhere exciting," I said as I handed you a dinner dress I had bought with a year's savings. A marvellous look came into your eyes and you cooed, "Wow."

I used to have a crush on Nicole Ari Parker

But more wow was the way you looked in that dress; how it revealed your heavenly figure and kissed the ground beneath your feet as you walked towards me. You picked your jewelry like a connoisseur to complement your dress and your self-assurance completed the look. I knew you would the best thing at the party, and I was not wrong. I needn't have worried about my jealousies; your way of warding off unwanted attention with your cutting look kept away those useless men.

That evening, I didn't hear a thing of whatever was said at the party. I was being tormented by a gripping presentiment that the mission I meant to accomplish later that night would probably go wrong.

After the party we drove in silence till we stopped outside your father's house. You hesitated and pecked me on the cheek. "I had a glorious time," you said, "thank you." You stepped inside and I watched the door of gate begin to close in slow motion.

"Wait," I shouted before I was shut out completely. And out of my pocket came a little box that I gave you and asked you to open right there. You gave me a look of utter surprise, then total interest, and I watched with a pounding heart till the box revealed a ring that sparkled goldenly in the light of the gate.

"Santurina," I said going on bended knee, "will you marry me?"

Boys to men

Today is Fathers' Day. Congratulations and happy wishes to the authentic fathers and men out there keeping it real. Being a real man is a huge responsibility that the problems of the world are linked to the men that have failed to navigate the labyrinths of manhood and settled for less. 

At a recent men's conference, we were asked how many of us were taught to be men. To my shock, no one raised his hand. Most men believe manhood revolves around positions and possessions. But according life coach Stone Kyambadde, real manhood is more of a character thing. Some men have excelled in their careers and made and made a lot of money but their wives are miserable and children stubborn because these men clueless about running a family. Even some admired rich people have not earned their wealth honestly, and thus fail the test of true manhood. 

Growing up, we learned that man must be tough and not show emotions to women. But television personality Brian Mulondo said tears won him the woman of his life—his wife. He had been chasing her for a while but she kept tossing him like a ball. In one moment of frustration, he cried and asked how long she was going to torture him. His tears opened her eyes to a side of him that melted her heart. The rest is history. 

Fathers must teach their sons from early on how to be men of courage and integrity. You may be financially poor yet raise your son to be a real man. When Malawian prodigy William Kamkwamba was collecting scrap metals to build his first windmill to bring electricity to his village, he was labelled a madman. His mother tried to stop him but his father intervened, "Leave the boy alone; let's see what he has up his sleeve." William achieved his dream, wrotea book about it that’s a New York Times bestseller. Without his father's support and encouragement, he would not be the man he is today.

The Heart Thing

The inventor of the light bulb, Thomas Edison, famously said that "Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent persperation." We better listen since he was speaking from experience; it's said he failed over ninenty times before he cracked the winning formulae for his most popular invention.

Ugandan artist Ssajjabi poses with one of his paintings. 

Yet natural genius, also known as talent, will always play a central role in the business of life. The ease with which Barcelona's Suarez, Neymar and Messi tore Juventus to pieces to win the Champions League trophy last Saturday demonstrated as much. They are not the most hardworking striking trio in club soccer but they certainly are the most gifted. Suarez single-handedly almost won Liverpool the Premier League trophy before

he caught the eye of Barcelona. Neymar's Brazilian magic is difficult to describe. My brother Julius says of Messi, "The short little Argentinian is extravagantly talented and absolutely lethal. It can only take a miracle to stop him; only miracles defy logic."

Which brings me to the point of this piece. However hard working or talented you are, there's always somebody somewhere more hardworking, more gifted, more handsome/beautiful, more educated and more experienced than you. The trick therefore is not to focus on the competition but to do whatever you do with all your heart. The country song, "Come from the Heart", is famous for these lyrics: "You've got to sing like you don't need the money/Love like you'll never get hurt/ You've got to dance like nobody's is watchin'/ It's gotta come from the heart if you want it to work."

When you apply these lyrics, you will never get distracted like people who try to write like someone, dress like someone, speak like someone or sing like someone except themselves. In the process they lose their individuality and the distinction which they are born, thereby impeding the ripening of their full potential.

The Hero in You and I

During the bush war that brought the current regime headed by Yoweri K. Museveni to power, an enemy bullet plucked out Gen. Elly Tumwine's eye. It fell into his shirt pocket where comrade Gen. David Sejusa removed it and inserted it back in its socket. This is not fiction reminiscent of that scene in the Terminator where Arnold Schwarzegger removes his damaged eyeball. This was action in its unadulterated reality. Today,  Gen. Tumwine covers his scar with dark glasses that make him resemble an FBI agent on vacation in Kampala.

Proud Ugandans show off their National Flag

What's fascinating is that what happened to him didn't affect his sunny disposition. He is the rare breed of highly decorated soldier you can walk to freely and strike up a light conversation. When you find him at Nommo Gallery in his personally-designed bitenge shirts interacting with his art works, it's hard to believe he is the same gallant officer who lost an eye in the struggle of liberation. 

Gen. Tumwine embodies the real heroes in our beloved country; people that defy ugly  circumstances and rise above their scars. In this category is the single mother who does her best to raise productive children, the boda-boda rider who is at his stage by 6am to earn an honest living or the swimmer who dies while saving another from drowning. 

If you are a sharp observer of society,  you will record everyday heroics from varied people; big and small deeds whose quintessential quality and impact deserve a reward of way greater value than the Nalubale Medal. 

I love the words of the eponymous hero of Charles Dickens novel, David Copperfield: "Whether I  shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." Let the National Heroes Day on Tuesday inspire you and I to bring out the hero in us for the greater good of this world.

The Martyr's Legacy Matters

Today is the celebration of the Uganda Martyrs' Day, and a perfect opportunity for me to write about true legacy. These men of courage that are celebrated the world over especially by the Catholic establishment had nothing that modernists love to covet. No education from "cool" universities, no mansions and city-centre towers to bequeath their next of kin, no stashes of money in Swiss banks, no posh cars, no acres upon acres of verdant land -they had absolutely no pedigree for which most people today claim bragging rights.

Believers like these missionary brothers are inspired by the Uganda Martyrs

Yet these men were men of soul and of pursuit. In their simplicity and honesty they went on an inner quest that was to change their lives for ever. They discovered that what matters most in life has everything to do with spirituality. I can almost hear them fervently repeating the words of Jesus, "What does it profit a man to gain the whole world but forfeit his soul?"

It's not in itself bad to gain the whole world but how you gain all that power, fame and riches beyond quantification is the question. Anyway, to the men that became the Uganda Martyrs, the day they discovered that they entered this world naked and would take nothing from it was a transformational  discovery that became the foundation of their faith and resolve.

Not even getting hurled into a fiery furnace or having their heads chopped off with a crude machete would make them equivocate or change their stance that serving and living for God was the most essential thing.

They willingly died for their convictions, thereby etching themselves in the hearts of men and women; generations after generations would be inspired by that extraordinary courage and vision--a true legacy personified by the multitudes that flock Namugungo every June 3; a legacy  that will never be wiped away.

Deadman Walking

Dead Man Walking is the title of a famous film that looks into the death penalty, but allow me to use it to describe a man without vision. Truly a man without the knowledge of where he is going or what he wants out of life is a dead man walking.

In countries like England and the United Status, children are raised according to their interests and strengths so that by the age of 12 to 16 most of them are world known prodigies and superstars. We don't have that in Uganda. But being born in the Third World where there are little initiatives to spot talent in infancy and nurture it to maturity should not be used as an alibi for failure.

It's never too late to create a vision and focus on it

It's never too late to create a vision, never too late to start. After all the best years lie ahead. That's why it's said life starts at 40. The other years are years of self- discovery especially by those who have grown up without the guidance and mentorship of wise  parents or guardians. Otherwise every adult ought to have a life's goal.

Having a goal or a clear idea is the first step to greatness, followed by a step forward. That's something I learned from my friend Andrew. It's amazing what Andrew has achieved since we left university a couple of years ago. When I asked what his secret was, he showed me a big book in which he has written down all his dreams and ambitions and strategies to fulfill them. It has everything including the year he wants to die! Crazy, but writing down stuff and always going back to it has given Andrew direction, purpose, discipline, zeal and such focus that he cannot be easily diverted.  So Andrew cannot be a dead man walking because he has a life objective he is happily striving to fulfill.

A black spot and a white sheet of paper

In his early formative years, Kofi Annan sat in a class in which the instructor showed them a large sheet of white paper with a little black dot on it. When the instructor asked, "Boys, what do you see?" they all shouted together: "A black dot!" 

"So, not a single one of you saw the white sheet of paper," the instructor returned, "you only saw the black spot. This is the awful thing about human nature. People never see the goodness of things and the broader picture. Don't go through life with that attitude."

Kofi Annan said how that experience changed his outlook on life. The fact that he went on to become the first UN secretary general from sub-Saharan Africa, and was unanimously elected to a second term because of his diligence, not forgetting co-winning the 2001 Nobel Peace Prize showed that the humble Ghanaian had indeed learned everything from the sheet of white paper and the black dot. 

When you look yourself in the mirror, what do you see? Do you see a short, ugly person with a poor background and no connections at all (the black spot), or you see someone with a breath of life, good health, an education and great prospects (the white piece of paper)? 

African-American vocalist Keith Sweat once said, "It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you are not."

If you are focusing on who you are not instead of what you can be; if your eyes are fixed onto the little dark cloud instead of appreciating the gigantic umbrella of heaven in all its grand magnificence, it's time you changed your outlook. Begin to dream big, believe big, act big, see big, and your abilities will start to shine, and like Kofi Annan, you will soar to great horizons like an eagle.