It's all about imitation

In the 1960s, psychologist Albert Bandura conducted a classic experiment on learning and aggression in which he got pre-school to watch a film of an adult behaving aggressively towards a large inflated doll. The adult pummelled the doll with a mallet, flung it in the air, kicked it and beat it in the face. Next, each child was left to play alone in a room filled with various toys including the doll. Many children who viewed the film imitated the adult's exact behaviours and even devised new ways of hitting the doll. Children who didn't view the film never displayed any of the aggressive behaviours performed by the adult. The experiment showed that children can learn aggressive behaviours just by watching others. 

Adults must set worthy examples to the little ones

This example returned to me after watching how the behaviours of two single mothers who are my neighbours is largely shaping the characters of their little sons as well. One of the mothers pampers her son; spoiling him with endless toys while the other child never seems to get anything from his strict mother. Let's call the two boys Mark and Ali. Everytime Ali touches Mark's toys, a fight ensues till Mark runs crying out to his mother. 

She's a big, garrulous woman who will then come flying from her house and yank the toys away from little Ali. She will sometimes pinch him while saying, "Maybe this will teach you to stop harassing my son." Ali never cries through his ordeal, which is quite odd for a child his age. Moreover this seems to drive Mark's mother madder that she will call out to Ali's mother chastisingly: "Why don't you discipline your son? I'm tired of him harassing my son!"

Now, Ali's mother is a taciturn, diminutive woman with small intelligence eyes. She will then appear on the door and tell off Mark's mother in the most confident way: "Your big boy is just a wimp; leave my son alone!"

The boys will meanwhile watch out the drama of their mothers till it has played out. Consequently, Ali has taken after his quiet and collected mother. He never cries and never laughs. It's hard to tell when he's angry or happy. As for Mark, he cries as much and is as easily offended and quarrelsome as his mother. The boy even wags his little finger, copies some of his mother's cuss words and even spits at 'elders' because his mother won't touch him.

From all this I've learnt that kids can either be atrocious or gentle depending on what they hear and learn from the adults in their lives. The disarming innocence they are born which is quickly replaced with anarchic attitudes that if not tamed early explode in adult age. That's how we end up with terrorists. Thus adults must take keen interest in the behaviour of children and deliberately set examples that will help their children to grow into responsible people the world can be proud of.