My personality of the year

If it was not for the goodness of some people, I would not be here today. That is why every kind Ugandan is my personality of the year. Your goodness gives others the courage to keep going and the inspiration to do better as well.

So if you helped somebody in need, visited and encouraged a prisoner, bought a jobless brother a meal, took a glass of juice to a patient in hospital, name it, you are my hero. Every act of love, however insignificant it may seem, if done from the depth of the heart, will always be cherished by the receiver.

 Often we think giving is a job done by the moneyed, but there are no greater riches than the riches of the heart. You may be struggling to make ends meet but if you have love, you have a treasure. Keep on sharing and those moves of love will give you a satisfaction that cannot be matched.

To be sure, the returns are immeasurable. You may not get money but the inner joy and peace will be better than anything money can buy. It is a thankless heart, and things like envy, covetousness, laziness, unforgiveness and bitterness that choke the air we breathe, making life impossible. If in the place of these, love is inserted, life gets better and better.

Love is understanding. Love is peaceful. Love is enduring. Love is not envious and has no resentment in its makeup. It forgives, does not keep a list of wrongs, never puts others down or rejoices at their misfortunes, but always looks for the best in people. That is love.

A very wise and inspired man named Paul said three things in life matter: faith, hope and love. And the greatest of these, he said, is love. Love is what will keep us better and prospering in 2015 and the subsequent years.

Don’t get it twisted; customer remains king

Ann is one of my best friends. She is a beautiful, intelligent girl with a petite figure and a baby face that will make you mistake her for a teenager although she is in her early 30s. Ann's ambition and ability to multi-task is amazing. After journalism school, Ann went abroad to study nursing. Now she works in the home for the elderly, and moonlights as a freelance journalist. She also owns 80 percent shares in a small company where she vetoes who to hire and fire. On a recent holiday in Kampala, Ann received a call that her front-desk employee had quit.  Ann permitted her partner to use his discretion to find a proficient replacement.

On her return to America, Ann went over to evaluate the customer care skills of her new employee. She came masquerading as a client who wanted to see the boss over a business idea. The new receptionist first sized Ann up and down with steely eyes, and continued filing her nails as if Ann was some loathsome insect that one does better by ignoring. Flashing her witty smile to hide her shock, Ann said, "Did you hear me? I really would like to meet your boss." This time the receptionist snapped up and told Ann rudely that the boss was busy, and went ahead to warn Ann not to come near her desk again.  

Things happened quickly in the next few minutes. Like an action movie. Ann fired the insolent receptionist there and then. And after the truth had sunk in that she was indeed the real boss, the fired girl coiled her nonexistent tail and grovelled on her knees, begging to be rehired.

Ann's experience is close to what happened to me recently when I visited a restaurant in Kampala run by a Muhima mama who has quite a following of mostly the potbellied. I sat down, placed my order and opened my newspaper. This mama, who didn't know I had already ordered, looked me up and down with eyes that suggested that her restaurant was way above my station. I'm a man of small physical stature and simple style. Moreover I wasn't dangling car keys as a sign of my economic means. So this mama told me curtly that this was not the place to read newspapers; that I needed to order for food or leave. That's how she lost in me a customer who loves African dishes.

It's astounding how people blow rewarding opportunities like a fool who killed the goose that used to lay him golden eggs. Oh, mourn the death of etiquette and courtesy! You wonder why people accept jobs as receptionists or hoteliers when they have an aversion to people. The situation is dire in our country which has no Consumer Protection Policy. And because of poor service delivery, entrepreneurs hire expatriates at the expense of local professionals who have gained notoriety for shoddiness.  

In his autobiography, Success is Around the Corner, Bonney M. Katatumba talks about many jobless Ugandans who come to him complaining that investors and other employers  don't employ them. The business mogul behind Hotel Diplomate says it's because the job-seekers lack job loyalty, and are often fired for dishonesty, irresponsibility and outright theft. He advises that on top of loyalty, you have to work hard as though you own the company; doing the job with "heart and maximum effort".

It makes sense considering the high rates of unemployment in Africa. Even the stiff competition in every aspect of society makes it obvious that the best of the best will stay on their feet. W.E.B. DuBois became the first black man to receive a PhD from Harvard University because he strived to be the best he could be in a hostile, racist environment.  

It's high time we remembered that the customer remains king, and those who treat him so will attain their highest places, because even a tree that brings forth no good fruit is hewn down and cast into the fire. It's time therefore to think in new ways; think ahead, and hypnotise the client with your excellence. Let it shine, I say. In whatever you do, let it shine.

The cheer that Christmas brings and more

I love how radio stations begin to usher in the spirit of festivity by playing Christmas carols as early as November. There's a certain blessedness about it. Songs like Silent Night or Hark! the Herald Angels Sing always bring heaven down in my world. Reminds me of how as a child I loved to sneak out of the cupboard one of those special cups that were used on special days or whenever we had special guests. Drinking from "vessels of honour" always gave special taste to the drink. This love for carols was injected in me from boyhood by the heavenly voices of the village choir that used to move from home to home on Christmas eve in the night rousing us beautifully from sleep; singing their hearts out about how a special child is born unto us. It's that passion that I love – a passion that would take us far if injected in our daily pursuits.  

I also love the story of the birth itself. It's a story that renews hope. Jesus was born in a manger but his destiny was far greater that the poor circumstances under which he was born. Jesse Jackson once said, "I was born in a slum but the slum was not born in me." I was born in a potato garden but now I write for a national newspaper. We are all born for significance no matter our circumstances. You just have to play your part passionately like Jesus was already doing by the age of seven. 

Finally, I love the attention that is given to Christmas, and the attendant spirit of love through sharing. Excellence is about attention to details. And the happiness and fulfillment we all clamour for in life come from love, which is why everyday should be lived like Christmas. 

Have yourself a merry big Christmas!

Self-improvement

At the beginning of the year people make resolutions. Even those who don't write things down have good plans in their minds, because every reasonable adult wants to do better and become the darling and pride of his family or society. But time flies and we often wake up in December to discover that half the resolutions we made in January are unfulfilled. Then we lick ice cream to assuage our guilt or find scapegoats.

"Always be employed in something useful"

But I've come to discover that the fault is with us. Fortunately, it's easy to shake off the frustrations and begin with determination on a clean slate. As it is said, failure is only failure if you learn nothing from it. I'm fully persuaded that we don't have some monkey gene that keeps us goofing as proponents of Evolution Theory would want to posit. Rather we have an inherent firepower that can be invoked through self-improvement actions as we embark on the journey of becoming all we want to become and achieving all we want to achieve.

In a recent interview, Amos Wekesa who rose from frightening poverty to enviable success in the tourism sector revealed that the secret to success is good health, spiritual stability and academic ability. These things don't come by osmosis; you must deliberately work to transform yourself. In the true spirit of an African saying, "You must do your own growing no matter how tall your father is."

I've been privileged to read the autobiography of Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790). This illustrious American statesman, inventor and author was self-taught! He was constantly on the lookout for means of self-improvement. He devoted two hours everyday to reading, but his real transformation began when he decided to break negative habits and acquire thirteen virtues that he felt were desirable for one to contribute eminently to the world. Two of those ideals I like most are resolution and industry: (i) "Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve." (ii) "Lose no time. Be always employed in something useful. Cut off all unnecessary actions."

The rich man and the poor man

There is a story that gets me thinking every time I read it. It is the common story of a rich man and a poor man. The rich man was always dressed in fine fabrics that cost a fortune, and his dining table garnished with sumptuous dishes that some can only dream about. The poor man sat outside the man's pearly gate longing for the leftovers from the big man's table, but even these, he could not get.

There are two elements that fascinate and intrigue me most about this poverty-stricken man. The first is that even though he got nothing, he stayed at the gate, hoping against hope that one day the big man would relent and have mercy upon him. If you like to view the glass as half full, you will like this beggar for his never-give-up attitude.

The second bit about him is disturbing. It has everything to do with his mindset. All day, he longed to eat the crumbs that fell from the opulent man’s table. This longing became an obsession that eventually locked out the man's ability to think outside the box and find a way of fending for himself. Soon afterwards, he died, still a destitute. This is where I pause and consider. It is very dangerous to expect free things no matter your condition. That is why when I find a man without legs on the streets of Kampala mending shoes to put food on his table rather than beg, I lift my hat in maximum respect.

Poverty is a vicious animal that cannot be defeated through the folding of arms. There are principles to live by to beat it. Sadly, the two-word magic principle of "work hard" is being eclipsed by "work smart" which the inexperienced think is synonymous with quick fixes. They spend their days betting and squandering their little money in telecom promotions hoping to hit that jackpot that will solve all their financial woes. But if success was accessed like that, everyone in Kampala would be thriving.

The beauty about marriage

One of the things I look forward to is going down on a bended knee and asking the woman I love to marry me. I hope she will say I yes.  I've already gone beyond the traditional 'marriage age', and in a day where we are expected to conform to common standards, it is understandable why my people are worried for me. 

It's one thing that's amazing how we do things in Uganda. Everyone wants to take part in making decisions for you even when you are a sane adult, educated and knowledgeable enough to make sound decisions for yourself.  It can stretch a man's patience but you have to remain polite about it but keep doing your thing until you are ready to make that leap that will light up their faces. 

Fortunately for my father, I believe in love. I believe in marriage. I believe in the posterity of the human race that is sustained through reproduction. My Creator urges me to produce, multiply and fill the earth. Who am I to say no to something so fundamental?

Ed Wheat writes in Love Life for Every Married Couple that "just about everyone inwardly longs for a thrilling love relationship involving oneness, a deep intimacy with another person, joy and optimism, spice and excitement, and that wonderful, euphoric, almost indescribable sensation known as 'being in love'". It's this kind of romantic love, when explored in marriage, that Ed observed in his long career as a doctor and marriage counselor that gives one "a new outlook on life and a sense of well-being." 

Psychologists agree that "true love in marriage brings out the best in us, giving us the will to improve ourselves and to reach for greater maturity and responsibility. This love enables us to begin to function at our highest level."

Evidently, a ring means a whole lot more. That's why I'll soon walk down the aisle a fabulous woman I'll love till Jesus comes back.