Christmas memories

My most cherished memory is of choristers singing carols in the village on the night before Christmas. As a boy, I would lie awake in my bed waiting for them until I drifted away into fitful slumber. Then around 3am, strains of voices would reach me with angelic faintness and keep rising with grudging sweetness till I was fully roused.

My siblings and I with Dad on Christmas day back in time

My young heart would reverberate with sheer joy as the singers sung beloved carols from Silent Night to Jingle Bells with wholehearted voices that filled our house like subwoofers. My father would come out too and request an encore of Joy to the World, and watch enraptured as they sung his favourite carol. He would then thank them profusely and give them some money before they moved to the next house. We would linger out in the moonlight admiring the glorious moon and the twinkling stars that seemed to have come nearer to celebrate this blessed time of year with us.

The next morning would be church time. I will never forget Fr. Wence's singsong voice as delivered his Christmas sermon to a packed church with everyone dressed to the nines in the fashions of the time. For my brothers and I, it would be bell-bottom "Kaunda" suits deliberately tailored bigger so we could grow into them.

Lunch was always a shared affair with members of the extended family. That meant a goat or two and some fowls would be slaughtered. I still see us around a big table garnished with mixed delicacies, devouring and washing them down with sodas -a big deal back then.

Night time was party time as my father would insert new batteries in his black Phillips radio-cassette player and dance waltz with my mother. How they would glide and fly on the dance floor with grace! Nothing will ever erase the beauty of boyhood Christmases from my heart and mind.

Redefining optimism

Most people think optimism is all about blind faith; believing that good things will happen to them even when they laze their days away and continue to indulge their evil streaks. Far from it. True optimism is a discipline that costs much. It is a choice. When you choose to see the best in others, and believe that life will get better, and strive to give the best with the hope of inspiring others to do the same, you are a true optimist.

Nelson Mandela was a bona fide optimist

A search through the archives divulges three authentic optimists: Martin Luther Jr., Mother Teresa and Nelson Mandela. But for today I will focus on Madiba to help you grasp the doctrine of optimism in its centrality. The mental image I have of him is a towering giant who made you feel at peace by just looking at him. There was something in his bearing that inspired security and a sense of belonging even in the most threatened child.

Madiba said a nation should not be judged by how it treats its highest citizens but its lowest ones. Here the rich and powerful are flown to the best hospitals abroad while most health centres back home are crumbling with neither facilities nor doctors to help the poor. Corruption has eaten its way to the bone marrow of every public institution while the president continues to reappoint the implicated. What optimism do such people inspire?

Mandela's zest for life and buoyant spirit was infectious beyond measure. He believed poverty as was apartheid could be routed by the actions of men. His actions and words lit a fire of courage, hope and strength to those in despairing times, reminding us of what we are capable of if we refuse to let fear hold us down.

Even 27 years of jail-time could not destroy him but made him stronger. Prison was a tool to embitter him but it made him better. "As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom," he said in 1990, "I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I would still be in prison."

I was fascinated by his view that no one is born hating another; that we should focus on teaching to love because love comes more naturally to the human heart than hate. Talk of a true reconciler, forgiver and pacifier. Madiba embodied the true optimist who defies the odds. His life reminds me of Tupac Shakur's poem, "the rose that grew from concrete."

In memory of Estella

I am looking at the picture of you taken 10 years ago. It is the picture of tears welling in your eyes. Even your hair is a little ruffled with tension, and your lips cling to each other in the emotion of the impending parting. It pains to see the sadness in your beautiful eyes. So I reach out with a kiss to shush the avalanche of sentiments vibrating through you…then I realize it is only a picture.

It is hard to believe a decade has passed since you were taken. You were a rose in full bloom when you were snatched by that monster virus, leaving me torn and alone; clutching at nothing but the straw of old memories.

I still see us walking to school, our arms around each other's shoulders. The whole world knew you were my sister even though we were no blood relatives. You used to say, "Let them stay duped" and then you would laugh gingerly and say we are stuck together not just for life but for eternity as well!

That is why it was so stunning to us when the first separation was announced. That is why there were tear stains when you were flown to the United States. It was necessary that you go get better treatment. At the time we didn’t know what ailed you. It had been kept a secret by those who knew better. What did you do to be born with HIV/Aids?

Then there was merciless symbol which marked the most difficult separation of all – the coffin in which you were brought back. Even up to now, I feel like you were not real; never existed at all; I feel like you were just a figment of my wild imagination. But then I have pictures of us.

At the time fate struck, I was still a boy grappling to find myself. Now I am a man with a gift for analysis, and my perspective is that you are in heaven. So rather than grieve for you on World Aids Day last Sunday, I thanked God for the good times we shared growing up together.

Even though it has been years since you ceased living, I am still believing that some day we shall be reunited in heaven where there will be no more parting. You were right after all –we are stuck together not just for life but for eternity as well!

Show me the true geniuses

Genius. The first word I fell for. I love its feel on my tongue and its sound in my ear. But I have come to realise that there is no genius in this world especially if the word is used without adulterating its meaning.

Several rockets have been launched into space and men have walked on the moon, true. I doff my hat for the brains behind the awesome scientific and technological inventions. Yet even these don't qualify the word genius.

No matter our strokes of brilliance, let's remain humble

If the world had a genius (s)he would have created a pill that one can swallow and live forever! The Aids virus would have long been exterminated, and a special diet would have been produced to insulate the rich and mighty against cancers and other terrible maladies.

Oh how confounded I was by Michael Jackson's passing! I could not believe the whole "king of pop", with all his money, one who defied the forces of gravity and hypnotized the world with his "moon-walk" dance could not be brought back to life by a convergence of the world’s best medical brains!

I will also never forget the day I sat in a taxi next to a sleepyhead. He kept falling on me and when I angrily shook him up he opened his eyes once before sleeping off again. How helpless we are that we don’t even have the genius to keep our eyes open.

Let us admit our puny efforts and use genius in reference to the only Being that truly is -- God the creator. He is the genius potter and we are mere clay that return to dust when He withdraws the breath that sustains us.
Just like the 'unsinkable' Titanic hit the iceberg and sank, we are doomed when we get puffed-up in the delusion that we are geniuses. It takes one bite from a tiny anopheles mosquito

So let us stay humble no matter our strokes of brilliance.

The word uproot stands out in the success formulae

Rummage through the archives about those who truly made it. Look at the people you greatly admire. They have given their best to be where they are. They got their hoes and uprooted the things that impinge progress.

You must unlearn the things that impinge success

To uproot means to unlearn everything that wears us out like a pebble in an athlete’s track shoe that makes him lose the race if not removed. Some people say you cannot get a job in Uganda today unless you are a Munyankore or have "connections in high places." You have to pity people with such mentalities!

The axe must as well be wielded against pessimism. Ward off negative people and surround yourself with those who believe in you and see the glass as half full rather than half empty. In a recent newpaper article, Richard Branson wrote, "Track down people you would love to work with and start sharing your ideas. You will soon discover that you found some great partners and more importantly some great friends."

Usually people who put others down are loafers who have been at the same level for ages. They are personified by the sluggard who King Solomon said is so ridiculously lazy that even when he digs his hand into a bowl of food, it wears him out to bring it back to his mouth!

Nothing takes the place of discipline and hard work. As Ishta Nandi once tweeted, "Good things come to those who hustle." Fruitful hustling comes with prioritizing and shrewd time management. Even if you come from a wealthy family, there is special fulfilment in personal attainments. As an African proverb articulates, "No matter how tall your father is, you must do your own growing."

My all-time favourite sports personality, Muhammad Ali confessed he hated waking up early and the arduous training routine. But he told himself: suffer now and live like a champion the rest of your life. Today, retired and tormented by Parkinson disease, he remains the greatest heavy weight boxing champion of the world.

Know what you are capable of and let it shine today. That "false evidence appearing real" a.k.a. fear, should never stand in your way. Be tenacious as you uproot that irritating weed in the path of achievement just like a tree is pruned to help it grow taller and stronger.

Optimist's medal for most tolerant personality

A woman picked a street boy and brought him into her home. She raised him like her own; took him to good schools and gave him all the good things that money could buy. The more the boy grew, the more she loved him no matter his imperfections and idiosyncrasies.

A woman with former street children. All we need is love with patience

But the boy did not appreciate the unfettered kindness of his guardian. He got into trouble with school authorities and gained notoriety as an unrepentant provocateur who fought everybody everywhere. The poor woman was advised to send him back to the streets. She wanted to yet something deep inside convinced her otherwise. Every time the boy got expelled from a school, she would get him an even better school.

When the boy entered pubescent stage, his hormones and demons raged like never before. One evening during the holiday, his guardian returned from work early and caught him seducing his daughter for sex. It was the greatest provocation to banish him back to the streets. Instead, she locked herself in her room and cried a river. Then she prayed. When she got up from her knees, she decided to give the boy another chance.

The two talked like mother to son. She poured out her heart; told him he was now family; a 'big brother' to her three daughters, and having carnal knowledge
of them was the worst ignominy. Told him, she saw in him something that the world did not.

"I've a lot of faith in you to grow into a leader who will return to the streets to spark something in those boys to become responsible citizens," she said. "And I know you will not disappoint me."

For the first time, the ex-street boy shed his hard skin and broke down like a little girl. After wiping his tears, he told his guardian two words: "Thank you."

That was the beginning of his metamorphosis from Saul to Paul. He stopped fighting, was never expelled from school again and started excelling in class. Today, he is at Makerere University pursuing a law degree only because one woman understood and tolerated him with amazing love and patience.

Saturday (November 16) was International Tolerance Day, and the heroine of this story wins the Optimist's medal for most tolerant personality. We all have foibles, and if we learn to love with patience those who need love, it will make all the difference.

Why women ought to love the beautiful game

There is something about playing soccer. It subtly and openly teaches us about how life ought to be lived and appreciated. So, it perplexes that some women bluntly dismiss the beautiful game as a useless activity in which 22 grown-ups’ chase a round piece of rubber around the pitch.

I play ball too

At home she insists on a Mexican soap opera and, when you go out to watch with the boys, she throws a tantrum, saying flatly she did not know she had a co-wife named soccer.

Sweetheart, collect yourself and get a little knowledgeable about the game. Many benefits accrue being on the same team as your man's. When you win you celebrate together- passionately. When you lose, you console one another - passionately. Either way, you bond like never before and sparks fly every soccer weekend.

My friend Kenneth is one of the lucky ones. His wife is passionate about soccer and supports Arsenal, his team. Last weekend before they played with Liverpool she asked him, "Do you think we shall win considering the form of Suarez and Sturridge?" Kenneth felt good that she could turn to him. He knew it was going to be a tough match but he spoke as a man who knows his stuff.

"Honey, this is our season," he said. "We have the best midfield at the moment, and our team is solid in all aspects. Nothing will stop us tonight." When Arsenal won 2-0, she hugged and kissed him and said in the loveliest voice, "You are so right; this is our season!" And you can bet Kenneth had a great night, ha-ha!

Anyhow, that spontaneity that women love, ball control, the marvelous dribbles, spectacular saves, the unity of the team, the telepathic communication that makes a player pass a ball perfectly without looking up, the strategy and verve that wins and the gleeful celebrations -- if all applied in real life, they can make living a magnificent thing.

It is always beautiful to see some players on the losing side exchanging jerseys with the winning players after the match. It shows what a beauty it can be when the contests of life do not turn us into enemies. Moreover, losing is not the end. When you reorganise, train hard and stick together, you bounce back and do amazing things.

Home to the most amazing sights

Today is November 3, the day of the Hybrid Eclipse [rousing applause]! I am hypnotized; giddy with excitement and anticipation like a virgin about to consummate with the woman of his life on their matrimonial night.

Who am I to belong to a country that the world's best scientists have designated the best spot to view the moon strut before the sun? When this happens at 4:15pm today, the sun will be so mesmerized that it will forget its job and usher us in darkness so intense that for one minute and 40 seconds you will feel like your eyes are shut even when they are wide open! The last time something like this happened was a whopping 547 years ago, and it will not happen again until June 3, 2114.

Really, this is the kind of history I cannot afford not being part of. Here I am in Packwach, right on the pass of the eclipse, and will for the whole day be peering at the heavens through a pin-hole camera. I am sure some people behind the Guinness Book of Records have flown in to watch the astronomical occurrence. They also won't help gazing at our physical endowments and confirming that this country is the most beautiful. This is what Winston Churchill meant when he called us the "pearl of Africa" but fell short of calling us the pearl of the world for fear of being accused by his countrymen of extolling a foreign nation more than his.

You have to pity Ugandans who go roaming the world in search of riches instead of developing the riches of their motherland. There is nowhere else where the grass is greener than here unless you have eyes but do not see. Hey, we are the Source of the Nile, the home of the mountain gorillas, perfect weather, loam soil, oil and now the eclipse!

That "American Dream" you hanker after is depicted in The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald as a sham. All that intellectualism and dominance, the glitter of Hollywood, the revelry and the philosophy of doing as you like, have left many with scarred consciences and inner emptiness of alarming proportions.

We have to be wary of Western influences, develop our country our way and protect who we really are. "Uganda - gifted by nature" is not just another colourful slogan. The world will best observe the Hybrid Eclipse in this very country. It shows how beloved and favoured we are by God!

Who wants to be Ugandan this weekend? I'm one proud patriot and will always sing the national anthem to that effect!

The most intriguing man

Even grown-up men with heavy beards knelt before him like he was a great god in some Nigerian shrine. But he had a raging rage, oh! Once he punched and kicked a man he had caught winking at his daughter. The man cried like a little girl, grovelling in the dust and begging for mercy. It was shocking the following day when the man still reported to work as if nothing had happened.

The men worked at the farm and the women worked in the gardens. As early as when the cock was crowing, up to when the sun went down, they worked. Sweat sprang from their faces and raced down their armpits and backs till every fabric on their bodies got drenched. And like demons, they worked on. When they finally lined up every evening to receive their pay, they did so with gratification knowing their boss was satisfied.

He was envied by men and worshiped by women. They were often overheard whispering lustily about the handsomeness and manliness of their boss. And they wished their husbands were like him. These were their secrets; secrets punctuated with sighing and soft laughter. Just what was the secret of the man who dominated their fantasies? Was it his rugged look, his revolutionary anger, towering height or the depth of his pockets?

It was difficult to tell, but he was different. He was a man who always meant business. Every soul in the village knew he could get school fees for his children from Mr Mugeiga, and food if they did not have any. But they knew his motto: "No free lunch in Paris." You had to work for what he gave you: fetch water for his cows, or till his garden - you had to do it perfectly.

This man had been to the best University in the western world where he had earned a Doctorate. Yet he had rejected a white collar job with some ministry, in preference to farming. Close to his people in the village. He owned a red Honda whose effervescent vrooms around the village warmed up the hearts of his people. He would have easily won a parliamentary seat but he was not interested. In the bar, at school, in the marketplace, Mr Mugeiga’s name dripped from the mouths of people.

They feared and revered him simultaneously. He was not loved for his books and wealth. They loved him because he loved them more.

Avoid debts like a terrible stench

Shortly after I got my first job in 2008, money lenders knocked on my office door with an offer. Tagging along was their car dealer. I just needed to walk to his show room, pick my choicest car and pay for it in monthly instalments stretching to five years.

I turned down the offer because I love the health and spiritual benefits of walking. Walking home from work is the best "me time" I get in this fast-lane life we lead. This is when I get to truly think, pray, meditate and exercise my joints.

I love the health and spiritual benefits of walking

I also find amusement watching the bored and anxious faces of some Ugandans in powerful cars stuck in the traffic jam. How can they look bored in such posh cars? Or were they bought on loan, with the pressure of paying back now taking its toll on the owners?

The Lord knows the stress of paying back is as exacting as loan sharks extracting their pound of flesh when you fail to pay back. You have heard and read stories about merciless bailiffs attacking and selling cars, buildings and chunks of land; turning previous owners into sudden paupers.

That wise king, Solomon, was spot on when he said the borrower is a servant of the lender. The spirit of debts is basically a bad spirit which puts men into bondage. Poverty, arrest, broken friendships, isolation and a ruined reputation often come with failure to pay back debts.

A friend of mine who had a hard time paying back a bank loan told me that every time you borrow money you borrow into your future. For while the debt-free are progressing, you are busy paying huge interests that would be propelling you to success.

Borrowing is clearly an indicator that you are trying to live beyond your means. Live within your means and accumulate little by little consistently. Besides, the things you have: knowledge, talent, friendships and health, when well-utilised with patience and hard work, will make you achieve without going into debts.

So, by all means, avoid debts like I shunned money lenders who were interested in me having a car more than I was.

The best thing we can do for our country

A great American leader, John F. Kennedy, once said, "Ask not what your country can do for you-ask what you can do for your country." The best thing we can do for our country in the next 50 years is to detest and fight evil, earn an honest living and work for the greater good.

Patriotic Ugandans raising the national flag high by living accountable lives

Accountability to self, country, and world is the only way to dissipate the darkness of general degeneration that has since independence obstructed the progress of our country. Judging by the status quo, it appears accountability from the top Ugandan to the bottom is too much a price to ask yet we must pay it if we are to achieve Vision 2040.

My ears are still smarting from hearing the president voice his determination to uproot corruption from the soil of our nation yet he still surrounds himself with implicated officials. As you read this, somebody is dying in some hospital because of neglect or lack of drugs. A huge pothole has just caused an accident on some road, and a parent is feeling embarrassed and saddened on behalf of his Universal Primary Education child who cannot correctly recite the alphabet.

All because people are sleeping on their jobs, diverting public resources and getting away with it. Few are being accountable to those they are called to serve. The meat of the country is being torn away by ravening wolves and most of the elite have turned their backs on the weak by keeping silent.

Forget the new discoveries of oil and other minerals. The future of this country remains in an agricultural economy, but there is no way we can reap without restraining our lust for free and easy riches. It is high time we took off some soul-searching time. It is after we have mopped the dust of all forms of corruption from our hearts that we can begin to heed the cry of our consciences and lead transparent lives.

Then the government can fire all the lazy bones masquerading as loyal cadres, and hire competent technocrats who will passionately and effectively push for the noble cause of this nation. Only then can the now pale Republic begin to shine again as the "Pearl of Africa."

A billion reasons to be grateful

There is a story of a man who was sad and bitter because he had no shoes until he met a happy man without feet. I used to be like that man way back before I became an optimist. But love came and conquered
the darkness of my heart and ushered me into a marvellous light that I have been walking in ever since.

Sometimes fire comes not to annihilate but to refine us like gold

I don't know what your situation is but I believe no matter what there are a billion reasons to be grateful and tackle each day with optimism that distinguishes the winners. When the sun comes out, I see birds flapping in the atmosphere and hear revving engines on our busy city streets while taxi touts call out fervently at every stage. I feel the kiss of the morning breeze on my scalp, and say to myself: what a privilege it is to be alive and have another chance at playing my role in making this life better.

The Westgate tragedy in Kenya has left many dead, and others deeply bruised. The principle of reaping and sowing must apply here. The terrorists who sow violence must reap violence as well. They must pay the full price for disrespecting human life by killing us like flies for sport.

This article is dedicated to you all who had a narrow escape, and for the hurting families of those who lost loved ones. Be strong, and most of all let go of the bitterness that accumulated from the unfair loss of your people. Some things are difficult to forgive later alone forget, but living with anger is the heaviest burden anyone can carry. As broadcaster Shaka Ssali likes to say, be better not bitter. 

That is done through finding meaning in every tragedy; knowing something good somehow always comes out of sadness. Instead of dwelling on the pain of loss, choose to dwell on the precious memories; rehash the good times you shared with the departed, what you learned from them, and be grateful that at least they were a part of your life and will always be remembered. 

What matters in life is not what we face but how we face it. To face it right is to face it with hope. When the inherent human power is invoked, problems and challenges are handled without fear. The schemes of the evil ones will sometimes throw us down, but being down is not being out. Through Lord God almighty we always overcome.

Reflecting on life as the years go by

Saturday, October 5, was my birthday. I want to share five thoughts that have been shaped by my life experiences this far:

The toughest battle in life is not the physical type. I have fought illnesses and evil schemes but the most life-threatening battle was finding my identity as I struggled to know who I am and why I was created. Now I know, but some people particularly from broken families do not. It is the mandate of parents, guardians, neighbours, friends, colleagues, elders, clerics and leaders to help the lost find themselves. In rising above self to reach out with warmth and understanding to the unloved, we find meaning in life.

The birthday boy (middle) with his friends. Invest in lasting friendships

The family unit is as important to society as are friendships. Blood is thicker than water but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. This kind of friend is epitomised by Antonio, a Shakespearean character who is ready to lay his life down for his friend Bassanio. Sometimes an Antonio-like friend is the only family one needs to survive in this world. Invest in staying close to your family and creating lasting friendships because the two share equal magnanimity.

The most pursued commodity in this world is happiness. But it is often sought in the wrong places. In my days of naivety, I was told that happiness is found in the night club, the liquor bottle and in the arms of a woman. But all I found, on top of leaving my pockets empty, were hangovers, broken hearts and a guilty conscience. Now I know true joy and peace of mind come from grasping and living by the principle of doing unto others as you would like them to do to you.

Covetousness is dangerous. Some people panic when they wake up to realise they do not have the good things of this life. In an attempt to catch up with those who have lakeside/hilltop mansions and drive posh cars, they do all sorts of mad things including murder and dabbling in witchcraft. They forget that there is no life in temporary things, and that appreciating life in its simplicity and being content in one’s circumstances is the secret to contentment.

Last but not least, ignorance is a malignant cancer. An educated woman dresses indecently and says she is being "sexy!"
A man dies of malaria and they say he was bewitched. Unless we put conscientious efforts in enlightening ourselves, we shall sadly remain a “third-world” country, sharing the fate of those who perish for lack of knowledge.

The love letter could save the day

It is back to school for third term and one thing teachers should take seriously this time is the teaching of how to write love letters. It would help them too. In fact, if James Tweheyo, the secretary general of the Uganda National Teachers Union (Unatu) had written a clever letter to president Museveni professing the teachers' love and absolute support for the big man in 2016, the 20 percent salary increment for teachers would have long been effected and the strike prevented.

I first learned of the power of words to feed and take you places back in the day when a rich kid I went to school with paid me to help write a love letter to his girlfriend. I soon started spending a bulk of my free time leafing through the library dictionary and listening to song lyrics because the more words I learnt to use impressively, the more mandazi money I made from not just those who wanted to mesmerise their high school sweethearts, but even those who wanted to show their parents back home that their time at school was turning them into wordsmiths!

This was before social media hit the scene and popularised the condensation of grammer which has in turn murdered the way the English language is used. It was way before schools had labs filled to capacity with computers connected to the internet. Even mobile phones (then the size of bricks) were the preserve of the very rich. Thus communication was mostly through hand-written letters.

That is how it came to be that the coolest kids in any school were not the nimble dancers or the comics. These were popular but not as widely as the literature students who carried heavy volumes of classical novels. They knew their words and it showed during school debates and seminars.

In the single-sex school I attended where our preoccupation was writing love letters to the girls’ school in the neighbourhood, we were consultants! Of course the letters we wrote were mostly silly but the effort we put in enriched our vocabulary and gave us loads of fun as well. That fun can revive your hurting relationship too if you stop what you are doing now and pick pen and paper. That letter could put a smile on your spouse’s face and bring the spark back into your marriage.

Today's urban youths who are losing the authentic use of language through social media and SMS will become born-again through letter writing and their teachers will get their pay rise too! In short, everyone benefits.

Lecturers should be happy with goat-rearing

It is a little disappointing that the Ivory Tower lecturers ignored the president's advice and returned to the lecture room. Tending the frisky and naughty animals would have revolutionised their personal lives and earnings beyond their wildest dreams.

It is true that goats can be little devils with a knack for messing up neighbours' gardens and therefore putting you on a collision course with them, but this is where sisal ropes and an impenetrable barn will come in handy.

The other tedious bits of rearing goats such as mucking out the smelly pens, laying down clean straw, hauling buckets of water or taking them to the stream will give our lecturers strong arms, legs and general physical fitness that would leave Kampala's top body builder, Ben Lukwago, envious. Now, lecturers who award marks for sex would certainly love to hear this!

There are other advantages that the lecturers in the department of Literature will particularly love. Watching the goat nibbling a turnip or gobbling a sweet potato, even seeing young ones skipping about in the morning sun can inspire such fine poetry as would make Okot p'Bitek's Song of Lawino elementary!

It has been said that the best way to a goat's heart is through his stomach as well. They love the choicest cabbages and cereals but that should not worry you because the returns are way greater. If you attend to their needs, they will release enough milk for home consumption and to sell to the cheese factory. If you didn't know, not only is goat's milk incomparably delicious, its nutritiousness will keep you strong, wise and ageless as well.

Moreover, goat's meat is more expensive than mutton and beef, and such cost has not stopped it from selling faster than the proverbial hot cakes. If a woman has been playing hard to get, go buy her goat muchomo.
Besides, you will never bother about buying chairs and mats for the home as goat skins are warm and more comfortable sitting and sleeping on.

Here in Kampala, the goats will grant you the much coveted opportunity to belong to the exclusive class behind the annual goat races. Before you know it, you will be rubbing shoulders with the likes of Sudhir and enjoying prime coverage in the media, leaving our attention-seeking politicians green with envy.

So, really, I don't understand why our lecturers would be so disenchanted with the President for advising them to rear goats when doing so is obviously more rewarding than eating chalk for a pittance.

Golola's winning guts

Hate him or love him, Golola Moses of Uganda has got guts that we can all learn from. Those who think that the only contest he can win is the talking contest should think again. They forget that words have power because we speak from the abundance of our hearts. If your words are words of determination and optimism, you are destined for success.

Hard-Rock didn't know what hit him!

However, you are doomed if you take yourself too seriously. Motivational speakers and life coaches advise that you discover what you enjoy doing and rollick like a calf in the morning sun while you are at it. Titus Tugume turned a fatalist bully when he bought a coffin and said he was going to bury Golola alive in it. In the end, the self-proclaimed "hard rock" took such beating he even forgot his army number, ha-ha!

This is why you got to love Golola Moses, "the only man who can pocket while naked!" He is a true optimist in the league of Mohammed Ali and Rocky Marciano. Ali was equally a big talker, but he worked hard as well. Because he always put in his best, woke up early and trained hard, it gave him such confidence that he couldn't help gushing. At one time he said if you sleep and dream beating Ali, you had better wake up and apologise! He said he was so mean that he made medicine sick! That is the kind of assurance that makes all the difference in the ring as is the fight of life.

Bring in another heavy-weight boxing champion of the world, Rocky Marciano, the only pugilist who retired without losing a match. He was a man of small physical stature compared to the many giants he slew in the ring like little David did to Goliath in the valley of Elah. His secret was in his self-belief; he believed it is not the size of the dog but fight in the dog that matters. He had tenacity and such mental strength that he would not even allow the idea of defeat to enter his mind.

So, is your attitude such that life is tough, that without connection in high places and prestigious education you cannot achieve much? My friend, quit making excuses and begin to renew your mind with words of hope and firepower. Follow it with action and, like Golola Moses of Uganda, you will become "no joking subject!"

The secret of giving

The story of the Uruguayan president is a story of a selfless giver. President Jose Mujica earns a monthly salary of $12,500 (Shs32m) but keeps only $1,250 (Shs3.2m), donating the rest to charity. This has earned the 77-year-old plaudits as the most generous president in the world, and his country today is the second least corrupt nation in Latin America.

 Allen distributes sweets. It's more blessed to give than to receive

It has been said that you can give without loving but you cannot love without giving. This is evidently a man who genuinely loves and it is this love that provokes him to give that much when most of his counterparts especially in Africa are draining their national coffers for self gratification.

He also reminds me of an unnamed American who donated Shs400 million to the Makerere Full Gospel Church building project. The fact that he preferred to remain anonymous shows his is true largess, the kind that challenges you and I to be selfless givers as well.

I have read many biographies about very successful people and most of them have revealed that the greatest secret to financial security, the best secret that breaks the chains of scarcity is the secret of giving. Even the Bible says how more blessed it is to give than to receive.

And this giving, by the way, is not just about money. You give what you have, and it works if you give with all your heart. You can share some of your expertise free of charge, give some advice, help a child to cross the road, and so forth.

Giving is more rewarding when it targets the disadvantaged, those in dire need such as the orphans, poor widows and the elderly, as well as when it comes in the form of supporting worthy initiatives like contributing to a campaign to buy mosquito nets for an orphanage.

So, keep giving and never get tired of being generous. As the saying goes, he who waters will himself be watered. The blessing will blow off the roof because it comes in many forms. Good health, great friends, inner joy and a peace of mind that surpasses human understanding. This is the kind of blessing that goes beyond the tangible and stretches into eternity.

How wonderful, then, it would be to emulate the precedent set by President Jose Mujica, and begin to be selfless givers. For as St. Paul the Apostle implored, "Let us not grow weary in doing good for in due season we will reap if we do not give up."

Determined to succeed

A lawyer friend of mine recently took me to his chambers on Rwenzori Courts where we chatted about many things from politics to culture, the economy and success. By the time I left, my heart was overflowing with such inspirational thoughts that my life has not been the same since.

This friend graduated in 2004, but is today a partner in one of the best law firms in Africa, headquartered in South Africa, and travels the world representing huge companies and magnates. How has he been able to pull it off?

Gordon Wavamuno is one of Uganda's most successful businessmen.

"By knowing my value, which has helped me to think really big and work hard and smart," he told me. He then narrated a story of an inspirational event he attended in Kampala hoping to get inspired because he was thinking of how to raise one billion shillings to start a business.

"I learnt that the main motivational speaker himself needed motivation because he was talking of starting small and saving some money every month…if I were to follow his advice, I would probably need over 100 years to save the money I needed to start my business," he said. "It is misleading to keep telling people to start small...people need to be told about the immense potential in them that if explored could turn them into billionaires within a few years. Boxer Floyd "Money" Maywheather and Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg are two examples of people who have explored their potential."

I couldn't agree more. If we are struggling, it is because we have limited the inherent ability that is a gift to every human being. According to Rick Warren, "The average person possesses 500 to 700 different skills and abilities – far more than you can realise."

Imagine if these abilities were fully utilised! We have to stretch our minds innovatively, and as powerful ideas take definitive shape, they will impel us into action and propel us to great successes.Woe betides them that cling to frustrations and refuse to flush down thoughts of their poor backgrounds and lack of connection. They will live a life of want and regret.

Let us be inspired by the drive of The Economist magazine which has since 1843 been taking part in "a severe contest between intelligence which presses forward, and an unworthy, timid ignorance obstructing our progress." I am all for intelligence that presses forward.

I will marry when I want

My young brother wed last week, and some people pulled me aside to say that surely, I need to do something as well, because time is not just running out, but flying away on me.

I found it ironic that one of these people got married and separated from his wife just two months after their wedding yet here he was, pushing me into something he has miserably failed at.

My brother Allan weds Editor

In my opinion, marriage is not something you rush into because "time is running out". Marriage is serious business one must prudently prepare for physically, morally, financially and most of all psychologically.
There is the all-important first step of finding the right partner. In this highly cosmetic world, one must tread carefully, lest you take home the "liberated woman" who will soon get busy scaling the corporate heights than making her marriage work. Will she breastfeed her baby or buy a bottle because she wants to keep her breasts firm? If she prefers the bottle, she will also rather deliver by C-section than risk losing her elasticity by pushing the child through her legs.

My friend, the password in today's Uganda, especially among educated folks, is "no money, no love!" That means you should have a nice car, ready before you even pop the question. If you think the modern woman is going to hustle like the 'commonplace' woman you are in for a rude awakening.

It now truth widely acknowledged that the women that raised us are almost extinct. Oh, where and who can find a prudent wife! Now all the fantasies I had growing up as a young man, fantasies that were predominantly about finding a noble woman and lavishing all my virgin love on her, are going with the wind! I find myself wanting to emulate Jesus or Mother Theresa who never married but still led full lives.

Yet in the name of optimism, I cannot let scepticism win. For I know that God ordains marriage and whoever finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord. But this is all about a real man finding a real woman and the two becoming one in body, spirit and soul until death do them apart. This is the kind of consecrated marriage I want.

So I will marry but when I want.

A good man is not that hard to find

In Flannery O'Connor's famous 1955 short-story, "A Good Man is Hard to Find", Sammy Red bemoans the difficulty of finding a good man: “It isn’t a soul in this green world of God’s that you can trust…everything is getting terrible. I remember the day you could go off and leave your screen door unlatched. Not no more.”

Many would agree especially in this individualistic world where greed for riches and power coupled with poverty and unfairness has turned the hearts of men into stones. An accident happens, but the victims are robbed instead of being helped. Friends and relatives borrow from each other without intentions of paying back. We have become like O'Connor's fictitious character, 'The Misfit' who kills an innocent family of six to get back at the world that has wronged him.

I ate an expensive hotel meal without money and was forgiven

Yet random acts of kindness still happen; pushing back the darkness of the world and inspiring men to do better. That good apple in the basket of rotten others continues to scatter its good seeds into the soil for posterity’s sake. That is why darkness roars and foams but fails to obliterate a ray of light.

That is what I discovered early this week after I ate a hotel meal only to discover I had no money on me! I remembered all the stories of patrons forced to do embarrassing chores after enjoying services beyond their means, and prepared for the worst. Would my phone get confiscated or would I be grabbed by the belt and dragged to a jail cell?

When the waitress brought my bill, I told her there was a little problem: "I’ve just discovered I don't have money on me; I'm not sure I left my wallet home or just lost it."

 Silence and discomfort followed as she probed me with her eyes, her expressive face saying things that only a gifted illustrator’s pencil could capture. After a torturous time returning her gaze, she said, "I believe you. You will bring the money tomorrow."

I left feeling like a man who had been forgiven a huge debt, and realised a good man is actually easy to find. The kindness of the waitress so fired up my faith in others and has inspired me to give a chance to strangers and replicate the goodness that was shown to me.

Embracing the simple but valuable things

One of my favourite movies is Citizen Kane (1941) about a media baron whose dying word, "Rosebud", is the name of a toy car he had as a boy. This way, the film powerfully sums up the truth that riches and power are not the source of fulfillment. Simplicity of life is what gives us lasting joy.

The simplicity and joy of uncorrupted childhood is what made him long for his boyhood toy.

As Kabaka Ronald Edward Fredrick Kimera Muwenda Mutebi II of Buganda celebrates 20 years since he was crowned, I cannot help thinking how wrong people are to associate fulfillment in life with riches and power.

I believe knowing who we are and why we are here is what makes life worth living. For example, I was not born in a palace, but it fills me with joy and purpose to know I am created in the image of God, the King of kings, and that nothing can take that heritage from me. Thus I do not need a scepter in my hand and a golden crown on my head and enraptured loyalists prostrating before me and shouting "long live", to know how important I am to fellow humanity.

Each one of us is God's masterpiece and only those who have not discovered their inherent royalty get compromised. They believe possessions and positions will earn them the coveted reverence, comfort and class that come with royalty, only to be received by loneliness and misery in the "higher station" where their consciences poke them and the voices of those they trampled upon on the way up accuse them incessantly.

Also, each one of us comes from a womb and lives for a while before descending into a tomb. A grasp of this would give us little attachment to the things of this world as we would get busy living our lives to the full. Oh what simple but memorable delights there are in doing one’s household chores, tending your garden, walking to work and devouring boiled maize with close friends after a long day!

I tell you there is more health, power and untold beauty in such simplicity as there is in living a life of friendship and integrity. You don't have to wait like citizen Kane to be on your deathbed to realise that the abundance of life is not in riches and power. The simplicity and joy of uncorrupted childhood is what made him long for his boyhood sled.

Random reflections on Nelson Mandela

Of all the men living, no one inspires optimism like Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela does. In spite of being jailed for 27 years for standing up for his rights, he refused to despise his tormentors and walked the road of goodness and forgiveness instead.

The icon

He remains distinguished from other world greats because of his impassioned cause for the greater good of others. Consider his famous words: "I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities... if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die."

Mandela's life and times truly teach that true legacy is only for those who forget personal comfort and pay any price to leave a worthy mark on the world. I am profoundly inspired by his words that "Many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again befo
re we reach the mountaintop of our desires." He proved that the "shadow of death" is only a scarecrow that hurts nobody, so one must quit playing small and strive to attain the life that he/she was created to live.

Enjoying Mandela's autobiography

To Madiba, "Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." It is amazing that while in prison at Robben Island, he took classes at the University of London by correspondence! The authorities tried to break him down with abuse and hard labour, but failed to reach his brain which he kept alert and inspired through voracious reading.

This later gave him good judgement of the head and the mind with which he continued to preach reconciliation. In fact every word that comes from Madiba's lips is a delight to hear because of its wisdom and inspiration. No one could have grasped the divine truth better that death and life are in the power of the tongue! He uses his tongue not to cut down like pessimists do, but to build up and give hope to the hopeless.

The world is not ready to lose a man of such rare optimism, courage, understanding, humility and versatility. His dream for a better South Africa extends to the whole of Africa; an Africa whose leaders he urges to act with courage and vision to solve the problems of the continent, foster peace and unity, and make us blossom with greatness.

Get well soon, Madiba!

It is not beauty until it is comprehensive

A week after Stella Nantumbwe was crowned the new Miss Uganda, many are still asking if she was the fairest of all. There is nothing that by definition is as relative as beauty. There was a time when to me the true definition of beauty was Nicole Parker! But one of my friends thought I was nuts.

Miss Uganda 2013 Stella Nantumbwe

"If I was to undress her and hold her in my arms, it would be like holding a skeleton," he said of the petite actress. To him, Mariam Ndagire was the epitome of real beauty: "Look at her eyes, the way she smiles, look at her lips and hips, her fullness... yamawe!"

 And that is where we get it wrong. We put beauty in a box by limiting it to physical stature. Does she have to have full hips and lips to be beautiful? Does "broomsticks" for legs disqualify her? Must she have eyes that shine to dispel the darkness Umeme likes to unleash?

That kind of beauty has been weighed and found wanting. An accident, childbirth, hard times, overeating, name it, can easily take it away. That is what the old men that were looking at their reflections in the river meant when they shook their wrinkled faces sadly and said all that is beautiful drifts away like the waters.

Thus beauty must be measured wholesomely. Everyone is born beautiful but those who stand out are those who nurture that inborn beauty till it is flowing effortlessly like a stream that never runs dry.

In her poem, "Phenomenal Woman" (1994), Maya Angelou captures this altogether beauty like never before. Her protagonist is not "cute or built to suit a fashion model's size" yet she irresistibly leaves the prettier women burning with envy while men swarm around her like bees around nectar. The poem enumerates that her beauty is not just in the span of her hips and the curl of her lips, but is more in her inner mystery, the fire in her eyes, the flash of her teeth, the joy in her feet, the sun of her smile, the grace of her style... "When you see me passing/ It ought to make you proud…"

This evidently is a woman who knows who she is, which helps her to radiate from inside out. This assurance and intelligence fires up her creativity and productivity - which combine to earn her the envy of other women, and the admiration of men. Her beauty is phenomenal because it is comprehensive.

Loving is the only way

Every day brings us opportunities to let go, and share the little we have no matter the sacrifice involved. If you have Shs50,000 you are going to drop into your savings account and you meet someone in dire need of it, give it without murmuring, because it might be the only chance you will ever get to help a brother (or sister) out.

The writer with orphaned children in Tororo. Loving is the only way.

Of course the financial experts and diehard capitalists will want to disagree. They argue that each one is here on his own; that the world is tough, that money is hard to come by, that every shilling must shrewdly be planned for; otherwise one may never get ahead in this world.

They may be right, but this rigid stance is not worth it in the end. While it is commendable to exercise some thrift, the day we quit caring and being each other's keeper will be the beginning of the end. How can you sleep soundly-on a full stomach when your neighbour is starving?

I say no one can ever find warmth or safety in a magnificent mansion surrounded with a high electric fence if that person is impervious to the needs of the poor, suffering lot. The standards of this world dictate that capitalism as is individualism is the survival mechanism; that those who refuse to seize life's opportunities should be left pay for their inaction.

But I believe all suffering emanates from exploitation and rejection one way or the other. Look at that three-year-old beggar in the eye; is he to blame? Do you blame that struggling mother who was abandoned by her husband after she delivered a child without limbs?

Even if a man killed himself, you don't leave him to rot in the open otherwise the stench will get to you as well. Whip the corpse if you want, but bring it down and bury it. Similarly, it is the moral duty of everyone with a heart to help those who are down. That is empathy. That is humanity. It is the ideal Mother Teresa of Calcutta elucidated when she said that the poor are our brothers and sisters—"people in the world who need love, who need care, who have to be wanted."

It is this love and this care and this communality that sustains a people; makes us belong; giving life its meaning and beauty beyond compare.